One thing about Jesus, usually no one faults Him for being half-hearted. He was a sample in so many ways but one of those is the whole hearted, utter commitment He had to His calling. It says that in the Garden of Gethsemane, when He was praying just before Judas came with a band of men that, “He went a little further and fell on His face.” (Matthew 26:39)

And often, that’s what we have to do also. To truly follow Him now in our times in this world as it is, we have to “go a little further” and “fall on our face”. And both of those can be just plain hard to do, in fact, virtually impossible except by His indwelling grace.

We’re all prone to half heartedness, hesitation and just lazy selfishness of the worst kind. And it says of Jesus, “He was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15)  Being a man and human like we are, He was tempted by the sinful potential of the human nature He had, being born into this world like we have been.

But, He went a little further and fell on His face. Imagine. The very Son of God here on earth and praying so desperately that “being in an agony, He prayed more earnestly. And His sweat was as it were great drops of blood, falling down to the ground.”  (Luke 22:44) It’s hard to even talk about it or think about it. How far He went for us, how complete and utter was His love as well as His obedience and commitment to the Father.

And actually there can be times in our lives when the Lord allows us to partake at least somewhat and to some degree in the sufferings that He suffered. God spoke through Jeremiah, saying, “And you shall seek me and find me when you shall search for me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) These seem to be the very words in Scripture that the prophet Daniel read around 70 years later, which compelled him to pray one of the most earnest and desperate prayers in the Bible, found in Daniel chapter 9. And that prayer of Daniel led up to an answer from God which is perhaps the most important prophecy in the Bible, at the end of Daniel chapter 9.

But it was inspired and born in desperate prayer, of going a little further and falling on his face. It seems like most of the time this level and degree of desperation and utter pouring out of one’s heart is not what the Lord requires. He hears our little prayers about our daily affairs and these reach His throne. God’s not deaf. You don’t have to yell at God.

And yet, in the case of Jesus and others also we can find in the Word, there were times of utter and abject desperation in prayer. And it was those which often preceded some of God’s greatest miracles. Like Jacob when he “wrestled with an angel.” (Genesis 32:24)

So it is for all of us. Our “flesh” certainly doesn’t want to go through with this. Our flesh and our worldly nature just want to rock along with things and to get by with as little effort as we can get away with. Only, what we find is that if we’re to not only believe in Jesus but to truly follow Him here in this world, then there do turn out to be times when we too, if we want to hold on to the Lord and to what He is leading us to do, will have to “go a little further and fall on our face.” Fall on our face in desperate prayer, in forsaking our own ideas, our own path and our own lives in order to go on in the life of discipleship that He is leading us in.

It can be really rough. Jesus said, “Whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken, but on whomsoever it shall fall, it shall grind him to powder.”  (Matthew 21:44) Those of us who “fall on the stone” (Christ Jesus Himself, “the chief cornerstone” -Ephesians 2:20) will be broken, but in a good and Godly way. King David said, “A broken and contrite heart oh God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17) But so many cringe at this. Their pride does all it can to hold on to them and keep them back from the humbling and humiliation that is part of that breaking.

But Jesus Himself went through it. And you can read of the saints of God in His Word who were broken until there was virtually nothing left of them. And then God made them into “better vessels” (Jeremiah 18). Something they never could have been if they’d not gone to their own personal cross of loss, forsaking, humiliation and virtual death.

Often this also comes in our lives, and for some it may actually be a recurring process over the years. The -in a sense- ending of one life and beginning of another, even in this world. I’ve had a few of those, where I just sort of ceased being who I was and that nature I had sort of died in a very rough ending which turned out, as I just kept holding on through sometimes months of dire difficulty, into a new age or stage of my existence.

So, if you’re in any kind of place like that, remember what our Lord did. He went a little further and fell on His face. Almost all of us have times like this, our own personal Gethsemanes, followed by what seem to be our own personal crucifixions. But then, as we yield all to Him, also to our own personal resurrections, even all in this life.

And it should go without saying, all this is impossible without Him. He went before us in the most difficult task of all, to die on the cross and “give his life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). Without Him we can do nothing. But He can be with us and lead us through these most difficult times in our lives into the light of a new day and almost like a resurrection to a new life, even as we are still in this one. God bless you and God help us all.