To me, suicide is a terrible, horrible thing. I’ve had times in my life where that thought came to me but there were just too many reasons not to do it. But it does seem to claim many lives in our times. Despair and hopelessness come upon us in mighty waves and to end our life seems to be the only way out. But what stopped me was to consider the effect it would have on others, particularly my children.

The Bible says, “None of us lives to himself and no man dies to himself.” (Romans 14:7) We all have influence. We are all in one way or the other tied to each other. “If one member suffers, the whole body suffers.” (I Corinthians 12:26) I’ve known people who’ve committed suicide. Some of them were good friends, others were people I knew or heard about. I have friends who had a parent who committed suicide when they were a kid. They didn’t talk about it much but I could tell it had a deep and severe effect on them.

Suicidal thoughts make you feel utterly separated from everyone else. In my view, it’s similar to those who commit murder, only in this case the person you kill is yourself, rather than someone else. But it comes back to utter hopelessness, utter despair and an outlook that life has turned out so bad that there’s no reason left to live at all. But like I said, when I got to that point a few times, it was thinking about my children and the legacy it would leave them that turned me away from doing it.

Also, for those of us who believe in God and in Jesus, we just know better about the realities of life than to be taken over by such horrendously hopeless thoughts. If you know God and if you know His Word, you just know that however bad things look right now, it’s not really the end. No matter how much you blew it, no matter how much people mistreat you or abuse you or hate you, there’s Someone much greater than our present circumstances, no matter how bad they are.

The psalms of David, which are mostly prayers, are some of the most comforting and strengthening passages in the Bible. David certainly knew the utter depths of despair, hopelessness and even dread. He was very human, he said things he shouldn’t have said and did things that he shouldn’t have done. But still through it all the Lord never gave up on David and ended up mightily blessing his life. David said this one time,

My sore ran in the night and did not stop; my soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God and was troubled; I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed. You, God, keep my eyes awake. I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. I called to remembrance my song in the night. I commune with my own heart and my spirit made diligent search.  Will the Lord cast off forever? Will he be favorable no more? Is His mercy completely gone forever? Do His promises fail for evermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? And I said, “This is my infirmity. But I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the Lord, surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will meditate also of all Your work and talk of Your doings.” (Psalm 77:2-12)

King David knew the depths of despair and hopelessness. But what did he do in this prayer? He turned. He turned from a stream of hopelessness and began to say, “But I will remember…”, he actually says that three times in a row. David started to get his mind and train of thought on the faithfulness of God and God’s plan for his life, rather than the incredibly difficult circumstances he was in.

Let me change this around for a moment. I want to talk to you, from me to you. Are you being spoken to by thoughts of suicide? Maybe off and on for a long time? My friend, fight it. Or if you think you’re too weak to fight it, call out to God to deliver you. It’s not too big for Him.

If someone evil broke into your house and tried to carry off your children or even your dog, you’d fight them. Well, it’s worse than that. Someone has broken into the house of your mind and is trying to carry you off to your death.

And maybe you don’t even love yourself anymore but I venture to say others do. Others will miss you terribly. Others will be soul-struck that you are no longer here, that you are no longer part of their lives.

And even if you think you don’t have any friends or family, God Himself has got better ideas and plans for you than that you take your life. Why not give your life to help others? God specializes in using weak things, little things, nothings that He can make something out of. God usually has to make absolutely nothing out of someone before He can use them. Maybe that’s where you are now.

But the devil comes along (and, yes, that’s who it is, the devil) and tries to tell you that it’s too late, you’re washed up and there’s nothing left to do but kill yourself. Jesus said of the devil that he was a murderer from the beginning and he’s trying to get you to commit murder, your own.

DON’T DO IT. Get help. Are you on some medication? A lot of those have side effects that bring on suicidal thoughts. You might need to check that out. Pour out your heart to God. Read the Bible, maybe the Psalms of David and let God’s Word speak to your heart. Fill your mind and heart with positive, encouraging, faith-building thoughts from the Word of God.

If your willpower doesn’t seem to work, try your “won’t power”. If you can’t find a way forward, at least you don’t have to start going backwards. Just slam on the breaks and sit tight in prayer and reading the Word until the storm passes. It will. It did for me. I’ve been through this and I’m mighty glad I didn’t take my life in times of some of my darkest despair.

You are valuable to others and to God. You are loved and needed and you mater. Hold on. It can and will get better and you can go on to the light of a brighter day that will make the present darkness be something you eventually no longer remember. Hold on. You are loved and needed.