Love for (and from) our families turns out to be one of the biggest things of all. At times in our lives, it hasn’t always seemed that way. “They get on my nerves”, as the saying goes. You’re fortunate and rare if you’ve been close and dear to your family and they to you throughout your life.

It’s just plain tough being a parent. Let’s face it, kids get in the way of our career path. You really love your wife and want her time and attention, but then that demanding little kid really gets in the way. And they cost money. And they have their own ideas and opinions about everything. So unless you are pretty smart… oh wait, we’re all sure that we’re pretty smart. So let’s say, if you are not pretty wise and mature, then you are going to end up losing your patience with your kids. Or just not find time for them when they really need you.

Before long, there is a division between you and your kids. And if you don’t recognize it and have (again) the wisdom to change and to try to fix things, then soon you have a real big, long-term chasm in your family.

“Time heals all wounds”, right? Actually, lots of people have found that not to be true. You hardly talk to your kids and they don’t talk to you. Someone says “I hate you!” and that becomes the new state of affairs. And as things flash forward 20 or 30 years, you find that you basically hardly even have a family but  just a permanent state of extreme estrangement.

Brethren, these things ought not so to be. And as most of us know, this kind of thing is found prevalent basically everywhere but specially in “advanced” Western and Northern countries. They say, “You can always tell when you are in Third World countries. Children are respectful to their parents there.” Ha!

I know a lot of people who are in this situation. Folks now in their 60’s and 70’s, with their estranged kids in their 30’s and 40’s. And I think many of us are strongly finding out that loneliness is one of the most discouraging, soul-sapping, life-draining existences there is. If there’s anything we mostly all hope to do, it’s to love someone. And the most natural people to love are our own children and parents. Yes, we should love the whole world. We should love strangers, the oppressed and downtrodden. And often we feel we try and want to do that.

But that doesn’t always take the place of our children, grandchildren and our parents and family. Frankly, it is a real touch of hell, real hell to have hatred and discord with those who we should love, and be loved by, the most. Perhaps even more when we are along in life and that animosity and separation that’s been there so long still has predominance in our family circles.

Well, maybe that’s not you. Maybe your family has been one that’s never really had the roots of bitterness and hatred ever get real domination of your lives and loved ones. But, I’ll tell you, those evil roots do exist and they seem to specially prey upon families, if they can.

I don’t care what you’ve accomplished, how big your house or bank account is, how famous you are or what kind of car you drive. If your family has little or no accord, if the times you come together don’t have warmth and love, if there are no hugs and kisses, even tears, then I think it’s hard to have real peace and joy in your heart. Something will be eating away at your soul that you didn’t really handle things so well, you didn’t come through it all with the kind of accomplishments in life that matter the most.

Well, here’s some good news. I think it is pretty much true that “While there’s life, there’s hope.” I won’t mention names here but I certainly could. I’ve personally know some families for 40 years and they are almost utterly estranged. And it’s so very rough on at least some of the members.

But that can change. I’ve known families which, after decades, have had some kind of event or catalyst so that there is reconciliation, or at least the beginnings of a real desire for that.

And can I say, if you see anything like that around, fan that little flame of love, that attempt at a turning towards love, forgiveness and coming together. You may look back ultimately and feel that the biggest, best thing you ever did in your life was when you began to try at least to forgive your parents, or your children or whoever it was that has created such loneliness and despair in either you or someone in your family.

Restoration is just one of the most beautiful things in this world. And if you even make an attempt towards that, the forces of Love, which are the forces of God, will swing in to your aid and make it all the more possible for it to happen.

Love your family. Forgive your parents, or children. Let restoration happen, while there’s still time. It might easily turn out to be the most important thing you ever did.