I don’t know of any single verse you can share with a loved one that will bring them to the Lord. Most likely many of these ones have already “heard it all” and some folks can quote Scripture as good or better than you can.  But still they don’t really believe it or take it to heart. So what can we do?

A friend at church asked me if I could give her a verse to share with her husband so he’ll come to the Lord. I said I’d try to write her about it. But when I was looking to the Lord about it, it was a little disheartening. Because personally, on several levels, I know how difficult it is to persuade loved ones to come to Him.

For one, I myself was about as big a “goat” and a “wolf” as there ever was, before I came to the Lord. I laughed and mocked at Christians for years and enjoyed getting in a rousing argument with them since I was convinced I’d always win. I wouldn’t listen to anyone and it took the totally undeserved mercy of God to save me. I was about to depart this life and go to hell before I saw that it was all real and put my will down on the side of the God of love and truth.

But today, when I further looked to the Lord about all this, I actually did get a verse and I think it was from the Lord, about this subject. It’s from Proverbs 25:15: “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.” My oh my, there’s a challenge. How is she going to persuade her prince? How are any of us going to win our resistant loved ones over to the Lord’s side? Long forbearing. In other words, patience or restraint.

Wouldn’t it be easier if we could just get mad at them? Really tell them off? “How can they be such idiots, no”? It’s as clear as day to us; why in the world don’t they see it?! It’s funny how the Lord throws a lot of this back on us. And it was pretty much the way I was feeling already in response to what this friend asked me, just that this verse confirmed that direction I was thinking this would go.

The best we can to is to try as much as possible to be a living sample of the Word. I think it was Dwight L. Moody who said something like, “The only bible most people read is the one bound in shoe leather.” In other words, you and me, people walking around in leather shoes rather than the printed Scriptures, bound in leather. People will “read” us to see if what they see is true and real.

And the second part of that verse is also poignant, “…and a soft tongue breaketh the bones.” But many would say that this is easier said than done. Paul said, “Charity suffers long and is kind.” (I Corinthians 13:4) James, the Lord’s brother said, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath. For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19 & 20) And if that was ever true, it’s true when you’re trying to win souls and especially loved ones to the Lord.

But it can be difficult. It’s likely you are already “familiar” with them. I wrote about this in “Familiarity”. You know what a rascal they are and they probably think they know what a religious hypocrite we are. And likely both are right. So it ends up that the devil will do all he can to hinder you in your witness from as many angles as he can.

“Oh, Mark, it sounds so hopeless! Come on, isn’t there anything we can do?!”

Sure there is. For one, don’t fail to keep praying for them. Samuel said to the people of Israel, “God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you.” (I Samuel 12:23) Keep praying fervently for your loved ones. But also, really resist the urge to think you are witnessing to them when you may come across as brow-beating, nagging and criticizing them.

The Lord does want you to witness to them, make no mistake about that. But it may be that He wants you to really upgrade your witness by including Him much more in it. If you’re also praying for the Lord’s leadings in how to witness to your loved ones, aim to be more sensitive to the leadings of the Lord, what to say as well as when to say it. The Lord can actually give you a nudge or impulse from Him of what to say and when to say it that will be far better than our sometimes vain wrangling.

Isaiah said, “The Lord God has given me the tongue of the learned that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary.” (Isaiah 50:4) Maybe that’s a real key in how to win our loved ones: to have “the tongue of the learned” so we can be led of Him to speak the right thing at the right time. We’re not trying to win an argument or get the best of them. We’re trying to lead them to Him. So, “He must increase” but often “we must decrease.” (John 3:30)

Everyone needs to see an example of a true, real Christian, a humble, loving, kind forgiving person who truly loves them with a love that isn’t found in this world. And this is all not to say that so many aren’t already really trying to do this with their loved ones, perhaps for years.

But that was the verse I got today on this subject, “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.” Sometimes even the toughest nuts are finally won by loving patience and a sample of humility and Godly softness rather than our possibly calloused hearts which have been hurt by the rejection they’ve experienced in standing up for Him. God help us to love people and to stand up for the Lord but with wisdom and by His Spirit.