Intimacy. Let’s admit it: we all want that. Physically, yes; but even as much or more that union of heart with heart with another kindred soul. Jesus prayed to His Father, “That they all may be one, as You, Father are in me and I in you.” (John 17:21) Some have it in their families, mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, the special feeling you have with your grandparents.

Intimacy is one of the most desired, sought and even most needed things we have in our lives. And now in our times we have the internet and cyberspace which has made it possible to be in contact basically with nearly anyone anywhere in the world. It’s certainly been a huge thing in my life to where much of my time is based around the material I post on line and communications I have all over the world with people I work with or with ones who’ve viewed or read my material

But am I enjoying intimacy in these settings? Is cyberspace satisfying the deepest desires of my soul and heart? In one sense I can definitely say no. On the other hand, equally I also have to say that some of my interactions with this vast assembly of friends and acquaintances have definitely been very satisfying and encouraging.

Maybe it comes down to what it takes to really satisfy each individual. Some know what real intimacy is like. It can be pinnacle experiences you’ve had in your relationship with God and Christ. It can be those incredible moments of bonding and unity with your mate, where you know you are truly loving that person and are being loved. Even times with your best friend, sharing your heart, being listened to and understood, even that can be a form of intimacy. And of course the interactions we have with our families, when things are going really well, is also a degree of intimacy that can sometimes be sustained over many years.

So how does cyberspace work as being an avenue of intimacy? While it’s been truly fantastic for me personally in being able to reach out across continents to where I’m getting to know folks in places like Rwanda, Dagestan, Nagaland and even remote towns where there are no roads to those places, it still doesn’t beat the real thing.

Real time. Face time. Human to human, right-in-front-of-you where you can see their face, hold their hand, hear their voice. That still is the benchmark of intimacy. We’re not cyborgs. We’re flesh and blood human beings who know the true and full reality when we see it. Cyberspace has been an incredible blessing. But for me it’s not been able to replace the need for traditional reality that humanity has known for millennia.

So, like for probably millions of people, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” In the Lord I certainly have. “You are complete in Him.” (Colossians 2:10) But it’s also true that, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) Even when Adam had God with him in the Garden in a closeness most of us can’t even imagine, God still knew that Adam needed someone like himself beside him. And it’s still the same today.

While I’m thankful for the mass of friends and acquaintances I’ve come to have through the internet, I have to be honest and say that this other aspect of my life, real-time, face-time traditional reality intimacy with others is still pretty lacking in some respects and I feel it a lot.

I can imagine that very many people have turned to cyberspace to try to satisfy the aching void so many feel of the need for real closeness, even true intimacy. I don’t know if you could compare it to those who turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve their heartache but maybe there’s a comparison. But on the internet, you’re mostly interacting with someone real, an actual individual at the other end of a Facebook chat or your email message. So it’s not like alcohol really in that sense. But it can only go so far.

Does intimacy imply ecstasy? No. Solomon said, “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so does the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty council.” (Proverbs 27:9) It’s like what I wrote about in “Jonathan, son of Saul”. Evidently King David and Saul’s son Jonathan had a very deep and strong friendship. But there never was any hint of anything physical about it.

Every person needs real, deep intimacy. That’s what we have with God through Jesus. “There is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.” (I Timothy 2:5) We are restored, we are reconciled to God in Christ. And those things can bring joys and emotions that words sometimes can’t really reach.

And yet…, and yet we who are still here in this world most of the time still need others. We also need human love. Unity, contact, oneness. It says in the Bible, “Now we know in part, but then shall we know, even as we are known.” (I Corinthians 13:12)

It sounds like, in heaven, intimacy will be the coinage of the realm, intimacy with Christ and God but also with an incredible oneness with each other. But here…? Well, thank God for the internet and the good that has come of it. Still, for me at least I yet yearn and long for intimacy in this world and I know that is not really going to come through cyberspace.

It’s going to have to happen in real time, traditional reality. “The greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13) God help us to continue in Him and His love. And, if it be His will, love with another human being, even real time intimacy.