Category Archives: Angels, Miracles and the spirit world

Going to hell

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The pinnacle experience of my life was going to hell when I was 20. I’ve shied away from talking about it over the years because it was so unspeakable. But perhaps I shouldn’t.

Near-death experiences are rare and ones where the experience is a horrific one seem to be even more rare. But that’s what happened to me.

Many scoff at the idea of hell. I smile when I see things like that. Through that experience, I was delivered from severely entrenched atheism. Back then, I was an “evangelist” of atheism; I found joy in defeating weak, vacillating Christians in debate. But entering the spiritual world, utterly naked and without any protective covering that salvation in Christ gives, I experienced the full onslaught of the afterlife outside salvation.

I don’t know if I’ve ever really described that experience. Perhaps I should. You may not be able to relate to it, it may seem like gibberish to you. But life after death for someone without salvation in Jesus is going to be a very, extremely, strange world, as it was for me.

Without salvation in the afterlife, I was like a person without diving equipment, 150 meters (yards) below sea level. There was no oxygen. It was a strange, foreign world. There were beings there that were in their realm while I was not in mine. I was in extreme panic and in great confusion.

But worst of all, there was no way back. It was too late. The level of fear, confusion, despondency and utter hopelessness defies explanation in words we have in our present realm.

It’s an incredible thing to enter the spiritual world. One thing I saw so clearly is that it’s really “all by faith’. We say that glibly here in our realm. But in the spiritual world, faith is utterly the coinage of the realm. And I endlessly gasped for even a whiff of faith.

Everything there was inside out, compared to this present world we live in. Materially things there are completely secondary, if they register at all. Elements of the soul and heart are the substance of that realm and your spiritual condition is the only thing that matters.

Jesus talked about the man who came to the wedding feast without a wedding garment. (Matthew 22:12) That’s how I was. I didn’t have the garment of salvation, the transformation that makes life in eternity possible. So I was utterly unprepared to experience the spiritual world.

Did I understand all that then at that time, as I somewhat do now? No; really, really I didn’t. I was in a prolonged terror, experiencing things that I totally didn’t understand and didn’t even have words to describe what was happening to me. I had virtually no understanding of what I was experiencing or the words to describe it , which I came to find after becoming a believing Christian and reading the explanation of life that the Bible gives.

Time, as we experience it here, ceased to exist there. I was in eternity. But also in utter confusion, utter hopelessness, utter lack of truth. I do believe that this is within the element and range of what the unsaved experience in the hereafter, in hell.

The apostle Paul talked about, “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord…” (II Corinthians 5:11). No, Paul was not in hell in Acts 9 but he was suddenly face to face with the Lord, who told Paul, “I am Jesus who you persecute.” Paul was utterly on the wrong side of the Lord and that was his introduction.

You don’t find many preachers talking about Paul talking about “knowing the terror of the Lord.” Talking about hell in these times is very passé. It’s just not done. It’s not cool.

Be that as it may, I feel I should speak up more about how that is what I experienced. For me, it was totally what I needed to stun, shock and sear me out of my unbelief. Nobody could talk to me. I was always the smartest guy in the room, at least in my own eyes. So the Lord let this happen, in His mercy, so that I could get a real glimpse of how very far away from the truth I was.

And truth was actually what I’d been looking for all along. So God gave me this experience, outside any contact with others, not a pastor, not my grandparents, not a church, but just me alone. And it worked.

I was so stunned, shocked and almost in unbelief that I was able to return to this realm where we all now live, after experiencing so horrific a place, that it was like some kind of Sci-Fi movie where someone comes back to this earth and world, after a prolonged absence. That might sound like I’m exaggerating, but I’m not.

If this is just outside your realm of understanding, I can give you the text to two songs that rather well articulate the atmosphere of Hell. The Eagles wrote in the last words of “Hotel California”, “You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!” That’s how hell works: you can never leave.

Similarly, Bob Dylan sang in one of his songs, “There must be some kind of way outta here, said the joker to the thief, there’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.” As the song says, you look for a way out but it eludes you. Meanwhile, confusion engulfs and consumes you. Snippets and dark glimpses of hell, brought into contemporary music.

I’ve been happily encouraged through the years when I’ve read of others who’ve had near-death experiences, that they too have had very similar feelings to mine. They don’t even want to talk about it. They don’t think anyone will believe them. They struggle strongly even to find the words to describe what happened to them. It’s a very personal thing that often their friends and family can’t believe and it makes them estranged from their loved ones, since it all seems so farfetched.

I’m glad I’ve been able to put this on paper, so to speak. Experiencing hell was what it took to lay a foundational event in my life that prepared me to receive the message of salvation from young “Jesus People” a few months later. And it was this experience, that the spiritual world is fundamentally the real world, that made the decision to follow Jesus and to take up my cross in service to Him to be the only “common sense” thing that I knew was the high will of God.

This was all when I was in my early 20’s, long ago. But looking back, I see again how pivotal that experience I had in the spiritual world was, even if it was in the dark side of it. I was there, thrust there by God, because of my hardness of heart and repeated resistance to the Holy Spirit which was trying to reach out to me.

I hope this is somehow a blessing to someone. The spiritual world is real. Unbelief and atheism are your worst enemies, at least they were mine. There is no depth that God in His mercy cannot reach to find us in our worst condition and to lead us back out of that blackness, even virtual insanity, back to the glorious light that is in Him.

 

 

Bad death, good death

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I was thinking about death. I guess I experienced “bad death” just before I turned 21. I had a near death experience that wasn’t one of those “the-angel-introduces-you-to-Jesus” experiences. Nope, I got the other guy. And rightly so.

I was an utter atheist and I enjoyed trying to break the faith of any quasi-Christians that came across my path. But when I was very nearly pulled out of my body by the spirit of darkness, there was a terror and a bundle of emotions which don’t really have words to reflect them in English.

I was experiencing a bad death. I didn’t believe in God and I was very nearly at the edge of the precipice into eternity and everlasting life but in an unregenerate state.

This was the experience of the unsaved because that was how I was at that time, passing out of my body and into eternity but without salvation in Jesus. If you have read much about folks who have life-after-death experiences or near death experiences, one continually striking characteristic is that almost everyone finds it hard to describe what they experienced.

And I believe it’s because they’re trying to describe experiences and realms that our language just doesn’t have words for, or at least very little. So folks think that those who experience these things are just making it up. Or they are in some kind of strange place in their minds and that they will soon “return to their senses”.

But so often those who have gone through these things say that actually and really, those experiences were more real, more true and more containing the essences of life than what we mostly all experience on a day-to-day level. And I can certainly agree with that. So I went through, or at least nearly so, a “bad death”. The death of the unsaved.

And as folks age, as we all do, we often think more of death. For me, I have to comfort myself in the thought that my death at the end of my life will not be what I experienced just before I turned 21. I experienced a “bad death”. And I deserved that at that time because I’d “mocked the messengers of God and despised His word and misused his prophets” (II Chronicles 36:16) so that the Lord allowed me to receive what I deserved, right up to the very point of death and eternal damnation.

But that was what it took to deliver me from atheism. That was the most major turning point in my life and the dawn and beginning of a life of faith, belief and deliverance in God. Some months later I received Jesus as my Savior and after that have served Him in many countries for over 50 years.

Now in my 70’s, longevity in my genes, I look forward to the point somewhere ahead when I do experience what we all experience. “So death passed upon all men…” (Romans 5:12) But that death ahead of me will not be like what I went through over 50 years ago. That coming death will be what can be called a “good death”. Paul the Apostle said, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain”. (Philippians 1:21)

Death for a Christian, although this goes against so much of our “carnal mind” as the Bible calls it, is actually a release, a graduation, a transition and an alteration into the condition God has planned and ordained for His children and saints since the beginning of time. Jesus said, “Whosoever believes in Me shall never die.” (John 11:26)

So my experience from when I was 20 is not really a good analogy for me to use when thinking ahead to what that experience will be at the end of my life. Maybe in some ways it is because I did experience that sudden, shocking and complete change that occurs. But back then, it was from this world into a so much worse world of horror and meaningless confusion that words fail to describe. I experienced the terrors of hell in its eternal state.

But the “good death” to come for me will have a few similarities but mostly be utterly different. I won’t be falling into bottomless nothingness forever. I will be leaving this physical plane, this earthly existence and going on to inherit the destiny that’s been planned and prepared for me by the Lord since the foundation of the world.

That’s what the people of faith, the people of Jesus, have to look forward to at the end of their lives. Their carnal minds may still grown and creak with the whole concept of “eternal life”. But that’s ok. Like God said to Job, “Shall it be according to your mind?” (Job 34:33) No, it will not be according to our carnal, worldly minds and understanding.

“Now unto him that shall do exceeding abundantly, above all we can ask or think…, unto Him be glory in the church throughout all ages, world without end.” (Ephesians 3:20 & 21)   I’m looking forward to a good death. How about you?

Truth us, oh Lord!

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Can “truth” be a verb? Can God “truth us”? I never thought of that before. But, my gosh, how we need God to truth us. What darkness we live in, what confusion, what banality. But God can truth us. He can just almost blast us with the truth, blowing away the clouds and the gloomy uncertainty.

Oh, how we need that. Left to ourselves, we would be quickly overcome with the onslaught of bewilderment that assails us every day. No wonder many people just leave all to go live alone in the woods. Maybe they hope to find their sanity again there. Or they reluctantly take their little children out of public school because they realize how much darkness now dominates those formerly happy halls of learning.

So we need a powerful infusion of truth, the same way people die without an infusion of oxygen. It’s that serious in these times. Maybe that’s something I like, strange as it may seem, about this present indescribable war in Ukraine. I lived in eastern Ukraine for 18 months just over 10 years ago so I know those cities , those roads, those fields, those people and those children and orphanages. But, strange as it may seem, the war in Ukraine has brought a glimmer of sanity back into the Western world and the world overall.

When your personal friends who you know and love are face to face with one of the strongest armies in the world, when they could die any day along with the hundreds of people who they are regularly ministering to in a city you once lived in, then the whole question of “fake news” and what the “elites” are doing really fades out of the picture.

I don’t know what’s happening in Ukraine from the mass media. I know from what my personal friends are telling me from there. And this is good because for far too long so many of us have been imposed upon to live in some kind of fantasia “la-la land” where there virtually is no truth but everything we hear and read is doubted and questioned. I don’t question the war in Ukraine. I wake up every morning to find if my personal friends still in Kharkov, Dnipro and Kiev have survived the night and are alive this morning.

The Bible says “God is not the author of confusion” (I Corinthians 14:33). But then who is the author of confusion? Truly, it’s the devil himself. He thrives on sowing confusion at every opportunity and that confusion is so much a hallmark of our present times.

We need the Lord to truth us, to just be that powerful that His love, His truth and His reality will be that much greater than the confusion and insanity of this present evil world. I’m so thankful for the promises of God in His Word that He will tell us the truth, that we will be able to continue with a “sound mind” (II Timothy 1:7) and that the onslaughts of the enemies of God, as well as the meandering confusion of the lost sheep, goats, snakes, foxes and wolves of this world will not be victorious over the truth of God that He continues to pump into His children.

Lord help us all to hold onto the truth of God the way an underwater diver holds on to their oxygen mask. Truly we are like that, under water in this world of misinformation, confusion and lack of absolutes. So we need our good Godly helpers in the Spiritual world on the surface above us, like as if they were in a boat above us in the water, to keep that spiritual oxygen pumping to us, so we can stay alive down here in these present depths.

As strange as it may seem, this is perhaps how those in the spiritual world and God’s great hereafter view us who presently live in these realms below. That we are totally dependant on the armor of God, sustained by the lifeline from above of truth-giving Spirit and life itself that only comes from God. Thus we survive and can function here in this alien world but only as we work together with our life-giving sustainers, the angels of God and the Sustainer Himself, God’s Holy Spirit.

Stay alive brethren. Don’t get “the rapture of the deep” where you just get enchanted with the strange underworld we presently live in and decide to go sauntering off into it. Keep the vision that we are not of this present underworld. Keep breathing the oxygen that is from above, pumped down to us by God’s blessed Holy Spirit through the mask and piping of His salvation so that we can continue to exist in this strange reality that we now dwell in, “as strangers and pilgrims” (Hebrews 11:15).

And may the Lord continue to “truth us”, to powerfully pump His truth to us so we can make sense of things and keep our heads while all about us others are losing theirs. So it is for now. Amen, Lord truth us!

Just a little false

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The devil fought me for hours. I was asleep and kept having these strong experiences, not really terrifying but just false. I knew it was some alternative reality that was upon me and I resisted it. I even quoted Bible verses to defy the things my mind was seeing in my sleep.

Yes, you can quote verses in your sleep and you should if you need to. But this just kept happening and coming back. I’d wake up and quote the Word to resist and wash away the things I’d seen in my sleep. Then I was so tired I fell back asleep and there was a new alternative reality, almost like a rabbit hole I fell down. It wasn’t really super bad, just that I knew it was false.

The Bible says, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7) So much truth in that verse. But sometimes you have to keep up your resistance. You have to keep fighting, keep praying and keep quoting Scripture. This went on last night for quite a while with me.

And the funny thing is, it wasn’t just all blood-curdling, heart-stopping terror. It was just a false reality that was mixed with confusion that kept trying to take over my mind, my heart and my sleep, very persistently.

Finally some hellish imps appeared in my dream. They seemed like people but they were taunting me and challenging me. I had to fight emphatically in my dream and I thrust forward towards one of them as I called on the name of Jesus and quoted Scripture. Of course they disappeared and were defeated. And then again I woke up.

It’s not the first time this has happened; it doesn’t happen much but I suppose it’s the price of being on the wall of discipleship for the Lord, that from time to time the enemy will try to break in and attack us when and if he can. I’m not certain I really prayed over my sleep last night before I went to bed, as I should have and usually do.

Also I’m about to launch out on another activity abroad and I’m sure the devil doesn’t want me to. So, it comes with the territory. Those of us who are trying to be fighters for the Lord, part of the spiritual army of the Lord, living for Him in this world, can just expect to experience opposition, even the kind that comes with spiritual attacks in the night.

Then today at the end of the day, I had a really funny thought. I was recounting how the experience in the dream was before I woke up this morning and the nature of it all. And I remembered that it actually was not just some kind of horrific deviltry and gruesome wickedness I was seeing in my dream. It was just definite falsehood. It was some kind of alternative reality that I recognized as not having the essence of truth to it.

And tonight it dawned on me, “Well, that’s the way things are now in many ways.”

Here in the “civilized” West and North, we are not experiencing what the poor people in Syria or parts of Africa are experiencing, the violence, the anarchy, the collapse of civilization and the prolonged mayhem that grips many parts of the world.

But on the other hand, we here are strongly, persistently attacked every day by vehement falsehood, parading as some inside information, some “truth” that only that source has access to. Like my dream last night, it wasn’t horrific, just definitely false. And if I had not fought it and resisted it, it would have been the reality I would have accepted.

But I knew in the deepest place in my heart, even though I was asleep, that something was wrong with it. It didn’t have the ring of truth that I knew from many years of experience in the Lord’s service. It didn’t even have the elements of Godly dreams when the Holy Spirit can open our eyes and mind to His truths when our spirits are more sensitive when we are asleep.

It was just blatant falsehood. But very persistent. I had to keep continuing to resist it and to not accept what I was seeing in my night hours. The Bible says, “The Spirit bears witness with our spirit…” (Romans 8:16) We just get “the witness of the Spirit” sometimes. Or we don’t get the witness of the Spirit. And if we are in tune and experienced in these things, we notice that we don’t get the witness of the Spirit.

That can happen in your sleep or when you are awake and perusing the issues of the day and our times. Some of it is not really horrific, it’s just false. It is not confirmed by “the Spirit of Truth” (John 16:13). But if you are not paying attention to the checks you are getting in your heart, you can miss the signals of the Lord and not recognize that falsehood is before you and trying to take a place in your heart and mind.

So watch out for plain “not-so-bad” falsehood. The devil shouldn’t have to show what you think is his very worst before you recognize it for what it is. We should have enough of the presence of God in us to recognize falsehood, even if it “isn’t so bad”. That seems to me what is before so many of us in these times.

The need is very great for greater discernment and a willingness to not accept falsehood, even if it is pretty polished, kind of reasonable and is even selling itself as trying to expose some evil. God help us to recognize the attacks and devices of the enemy and not accept counterfeits or substitutes for the truth and reality we have within the Word of God and the life we have in Christ.

 

The Book of Daniel Chapter 12 video, “The End and Beyond”

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I’ve been able to complete the video about the last chapter in the book of Daniel, chapter 12. There the angel highlights the main points of the future that have been revealed to Daniel and, in the last verses in the chapter, adds a surprising final revelation that takes us further beyond “the end”.

I started this series of videos on the prophecies of Daniel around 19 years ago so it’s something of a milestone for me to have finished the series. And in doing this video, I came to a much greater appreciation of this chapter and all that is there.

Even though Daniel 12 is the shortest chapter in the book, this video turned out to be over 50% longer than any of the earlier videos on Daniel, mainly because there was so much to go into, to unpack and then to explain.  Jesus Himself actually quoted from this chapter when he was answering His disciples’ questions about His second coming.

In these presently strange, dire times we’re passing through, it was a comfort and clarification for me to look again at how things will actually all turn out, according to God’s prophetic Word. I was reminded of what the true battles are that we should fight, how the disciples of the final days are suppose to conduct themselves and the genuine heavenly vision they should have. Currently there are so many distracting local skirmishes going on. So it helps to see again what the battle lines of the final endtime will be and what our roles will be then, and now as well.

I hope you enjoy the video. Below is the link to it on YouTube.

Your friend in Him,

Mark

The book of Daniel chapter 10 video

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I’ve been able to complete the video about chapter 10 of the book of Daniel. While this chapter isn’t a prophetic chapter, it is one of the strongest ones in the Bible to show the realities of the spiritual world and the battles that go on there. Daniel chapter 10 presents the scene and the events leading up to one of the most significant messages ever given to a prophet of God in the Old Testament. So significant in fact that Jesus of Nazareth Himself some 550 years later specifically referred to parts of the messenger given by an angel to Daniel in this experience. And Jesus went on to say of this, “whosoever reads, let him understand”.

Daniel chapters 10 through 12 are almost certainly one event but it was divided up into chapters, perhaps because it was so long. I’m very glad to be getting this video up on YouTube, the first one I have done in English in 6 years. Presently I am far along with the next video after this one. That one covers Daniel 11 from verses 1 to 31. Here’s is the link to the Daniel 10 video:

Heart Attack Blessings?

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Two days ago I had a heart attack. Last night I got back from the hospital I was rushed to where I had a stent placed in a vein. It’s been a very  (…)  time; I don’t even know what word to use to describe it. But I’m left here realizing what an amazing and loving God we have and how I’ve just survived, utterly by the His grace, an event that kills millions every year. And, strangely, there’s an emerging element of supernatural blessing and divine purpose in what’s happened to me over the last 36 hours.

I was fixing my lunch just after finishing a rather vigorous workout that I do at home. And I began to realize I was having a strange pain in the middle of my chest, unlike any I’d ever had before. I went to look up the symptoms of a heart attack and many of them I didn’t have: pain in my left arm or jaw, excessive sweating, shortness of breath, and others. But there was definitely a discomfort in my chest that didn’t go away.

After some hesitation, I talked to a dear friend who rents me the room in the place where I stay. He was busy but I told him it was an emergency. With difficulty I told him that I thought I was having a heart attack and needed to go to an emergency room. God bless him, he immediately dropped everything and we were off in the car right away.

At the emergency room things really swung into quick action. They did an EKG and the doctor said that I’d had, or was having, a heart attack. All during this time I wasn’t really feeling super bad. They ask me what my pain was on the scale of 1 to 10 and I said about 2 or 3 but that it was more discomfort than really pain. But it certainly was discomfort.

The emergency room people immediately took me in an ambulance to one of the main cardiac hospitals in our small Texas city. I actually was in fairly good spirits and was conversant with people in the ambulance and once I got to the hospital. Admittedly the thought did cross my mind, “Well, am I going to die now? I don’t feel really bad.”

It all was moving very fast. And I knew the reason for this as I’d read in the past how it does really come down to a matter of time in these situations. During this time one super busy nurse told me “Minutes are muscle” and the goal is to try to intervene before the damaged heart muscle really gets worse or the overall problem escalates.

What they did was to insert a stint through a hole in my wrist, up into my heart. I learned later that an EKG is able to identify the quadrant of the heart where the problem is. But then they insert some kind of dye in that area and by seeing how it interacts, they can identify exactly what the place is that needs the stint.

And I learned that this is not all actually about big arteries but about the smaller veins that run along the outside of the heart and supply blood to the heart itself. One of those veins had become blocked and needed the stint.

But here’s where it gets interesting. The big arteries that carry blood in and out of the heart could be seen like very big highways. But the veins are like smaller city streets, some bigger and some smaller. The place where my vein was blocked was what could be like a somewhat smaller street. They were able to identify it and put the stint in so blood could flow again. Within less than an hour after the operation, I was beginning to feel ok again and not having those symptoms.

And here’s the eerie thing, what they told me today. While I was on the operating table, when the doctors used that dye to find where the blockage had happened, they found another “bigger street” vein that was still functioning but was 90% blocked.

My cardiologist had not been able to know that without doing the stint work that was done yesterday during the operation. So they said very definitely that I need to come in and discuss another similar operation to get a stint into the vein that is 90% blocked. But if this incident yesterday hadn’t happened, we would not have known how badly that one is blocked and that vein is larger and more strategically placed than the one that went bad yesterday. This heart attack was used by God to bring to light a more serious condition I’ve had which no one was aware of until now.

I’m still personally coming to grips with all this. In Texas you can be bitten by a rattle snake. It may not kill you but it certainly can. Or your house can be hit by a tornado. It may not kill you but it certainly can. And 36 hours ago I had a heart attack. It may not kill you but it certainly can.

But here I am, back at my desk, in my room and not really at a place yet where I’ve fully fathomed what has happened to me. And it seems like it was, so strangely, almost an act of Providence that this till-now unknown blockage of a vein on my heart could be made known, so that it can be operated on.

What kind of comment can be made to this? What an experience of underserved mercy and prescient providence to allow something like this to happen. I think of the many people who have been praying for me. I think of the open doors of ministry that the Lord has given me over the last few months and years. I think of how my life on this earth could have come to its end over the last 2 days. But God has turned it all into something good. “Oh the depth of the riches, both of the wisdom and knowledge of God. How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out.” (Romans 11:33)

 

“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”

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What a dream I just had! I was racing up the stairs of a large apartment complex, right behind a friend of mine who was basically running for his life. Because also running up the stairs was another man who was out to probably kill the first man. Both men were professional athletes, on the brink of being very rich and successful men.

But in the dream, the younger man, maybe he was 19, had been messing around with the girlfriend of the man chasing him up the stairs. This enraged man, he was like maybe 28, was utterly beside himself with anger, chased the young man to the top landing of the apartment building and found the young man hiding.

In my dream, there was an extremely tense confrontation between these two men and it seemed like at any moment it would explode into what would probably be a fight to the death. The older man’s eyes were really bulging out with an almost insane look of fury and I tried to reason with him that he shouldn’t throw his life and career away by killing the young man for what he’d done.

But then suddenly one of their friends, a woman who had also raced up the stairs, was on her knees in front of the enraged older man, begging him with all her heart to let it go and to not let this incident be the end of both of the men in some fight to the death.

It was a very intense scene for me and, as dreams can sometimes be, it seemed utterly real at the time. The young woman was between the two men, begging with all her heart for the man to not avenge himself and attack the young man he’d chased up the stairs.

Then, almost strangely, the older athlete relented and backed off a little. I was really, really surprised that the woman’s pleas had been listened to by the angry man because he had just been hell-bent for violence in his fury. He backed off some feet away, still full of emotion.

And at that point I went up to him, also full of emotion because I knew these two guys and really didn’t want to see them throw their life away. And I said to the aggrieved man, “That’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen” and I gave him a hug.

And it was; it was extremely beautiful because I was so thankful that the man had listen to the woman on her knees who’d begged him with all her heart to not kill the younger athlete. He made the right decision; he listened to her wisdom and reasoning. He was right at the brink of throwing his life away in wreaking vengeance on the man who’d messed around with his girlfriend.

It was a very intense dream and a very beautiful outcome. Though he still was extremely upset, he’d made the right decision. Even if it wasn’t a matter of forgiving the young man, who evidently was apologetic, the older man had listened to the restraint and reasoning of the girl rather than his passion. He had avoided killing the young man when they both were right at the cusp of professional athletic stardom.

The Bible says that, “Jealousy is the rage of a man and he will not be appeased though you give many gifts.” (Proverbs 6:34 & 35) How many lives are ruined in some moment of rage and passion; promising, beautiful, even blessed young lives are ruined forever  over what seems to be an unforgivable wrong.

How difficult and rare it is to listen to the voice of reason in times like that or even to have the voice of reason there to still speak to you at that moment. But this young woman friend of theirs was on her knees, matching her passion with his, begging him not to throw his life away in killing his friend over his foolishness.

It was beautiful, it was rare, it was someone making the right decision when it really didn’t seem like he would. Solomon said “The discretion of a man defers his anger and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:11) I was so happy that one moment of foolishness on the part of the young athlete didn’t lead to another greater moment of greater foolishness which would have ended up destroying the lives of both of them, either by death or by prosecution.

Well, it was only a dream but it woke me up, long before I normal get up and I knew I should write it all down. Some dreams are just strong, meaningful and have a point to them. I’m not going through anything right now like those two young men but I’m sure it’s happening to many people. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, which I told to the man who’d deferred his anger. He didn’t yield to his rage, as “reasonable” as it had seemed at the time. He in a sense saved his own life by not taking the other man’s life.  “Every man shall kiss his lips that gives a right answer” (Proverbs 24:26)  and I just had to tell my friend how beautiful it was that he’d not thrown his life away in a moment of rage. And I gave him a hug.

Maybe there’s someone, somewhere who’s going through the same thing because it happens all the time, all over the world. Maybe you’re like the woman on her knees, begging your friend to not yield to rage. Maybe you’re like the young man who was running up the stairs, knowing you’d done a foolish thing by messing with another man’s girlfriend. Or maybe you’re like the older athlete, full of seemingly righteous fury and about to kill someone. But wisdom won the day. One sin didn’t lead on to a greater one. It was beautiful, surprising and unexpected.

Please don’t avenge yourself, no matter what has happened and how you’ve been wronged. Listen to reason; listen to the restrainer which is often the very voice of God, begging you to turn from your foolishness. “Brethren, avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath for it is written, vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will replay.” (Romans 12:19)

Our giants

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One of the more interesting, and to me puzzling guys in the entire Bible is the patriarch Jacob. Some may chide me for saying so but he’s always seemed like almost an anti-hero among the pantheon of Biblical greats.

Jacob even means “deceiver”. He lied to his dad. He tricked his brother out of his inheritance. And he conspired with his mother to do these things. He ended up having to flee for his life and he never saw his beloved mother again.

Did that really teach Jacob a lesson and he was a changed man from then on? No, certainly not immediately it seems. But then God had Jacob work under a more conniving and hard man than he himself was, his uncle Laban. It’s a long story but after some 21 years of work, growth and certainly some bitter lessons learned along the way, God spoke to Jacob, “Return to the land of your fathers and to your kindred, and I will be with you.” (Genesis 31:4?)

“Oh, great”, you could say, “He’s finally going to be able to go home.”

In Jacob’s case, it was a good deal more problematic than that. By this time Jacob was pretty much a rich man, with vast flocks and herds, wives and children, servants and helpers. And his twin brother, Esau, who he’d so blatantly and subtlety tricked out of his inheritance, was a fairly major local warlord. One way we know this is because, when Esau heard that Jacob was on his way back, he gathered 400 of his personal troops to go out with him to meet his brother.

For what purpose? To get revenge? To give him a big hug? It seems Jacob didn’t really know. But most likely his conscience was still eating away at him because of the scoundrel/crook/rogue-like nature that seemed to be a part of his personality. And this is where it gets really interesting.

Did Jacob boldly walk at the head of his tribe and go forward to meet his brother? No, he sent almost everyone else ahead of him: wives, children, flocks, etc. And then, the night before he was to meet Esau himself, it turns out that the Bible says Jacob “wrestled” with an angel. (Genesis 32:24 & 25)

What a scene, what drama, what pathos. God had evidently softened Jacob’s heart through the years at least somewhat. It wasn’t just him alone anymore. He had a large family who he evidently loved very dearly. And now the possibility was strong that he would get what in most ways he deserved: judgment and destruction of himself and his whole family for the perfidy he’d worked on his parents and brother many years before. He probably knew that if that happened, he would only be getting what justice would decree.

Jacob’s giants were not like David’s hundreds of years later. Jacob’s giants were his own sins and his own evil inclinations. Had he outgrown the sins of his youth? Or was now the time when they would finally catch up with him and it would mean the death of himself and all he loved?

For most of us, our biggest enemy is not someone else, or even the Devil. Our biggest enemy is ourselves. “The devils are subject to us“. (Luke 10:17) But it’s our own evil spirit, our own ornery will that seems to constantly rise up like an ogre to defy God and to lead us astray, even without the devil’s help.

jacob and angelBut Jacob knew the jig was up. We don’t have the entire dialog of that night and all the details. But it must have been one of the most intense battles any man ever fought, pleading with God through the angel as Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” (Genesis 32:26)

What kind of blessing did Jacob need? Well the next morning he would face his brother and 400 armed men. He needed God to have his brother’s heart touched so that he would receive him as his long lost brother rather than as the trickster and villain he’d actually been. If ever someone had to get their heart right with the Lord and probably really plead with God for the cleansing and remaking he so desperately needed, it must have been Jacob right then.

It sounds like it went on for hours, hours of desperate prayer, wrestling not only with the angel but also his own sins that so easily beset him. But at last, Jacob found grace in God’s sight. The angel even gave Jacob a new name at that time, “Israel”, meaning prince of God and man, perhaps signifying that he was “a new creature” (II Corinthians 5:17) in God’s eyes.

Jacob and esau meetAnd although we don’t know all the story of that momentous night, we do know that, almost surprisingly, the next day Esau didn’t go forward to kill Jacob. It says, “And Esau ran to meet Jacob, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept.” (Genesis 33:4) A heartfelt embrace of brothers, much matured and changed through the years who were just glad to see each other again.

Would things have been different if Jacob had not been so desperate in prayer the night before? I’ve always really thought that. Because Jacob really got down to desperate prayer with God, perhaps one of the most desperate in the Bible, most likely God was able to change Esau’s heart also to have mercy rather than justifiable judgment against his brother. God saw that Jacob was desperate for God’s mercy and the Lord did a major miracle.

What a story. Our biggest enemy is ourselves. Getting the victory over “the sins that so easily beset us” (Hebrews 12:1) is our greatest challenge. And, let’s face it: a lot of us don’t always win that battle. May God help us all to fight our “giants” that defy us and will defeat us except for our desperate prayers for the Lord to “deliver us from every evil work and preserve us unto His heavenly kingdom.” (II Timothy 4:18)

Are you in your war room?

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I saw a really good movie last night, “War Room”. Often Christian movies can be a little corny and contrived but this one hit the mark for me. Of course the cynic in me and the cynic among us will say that things aren’t always just like we see in this movie. The other side of the coin is that I personally have experienced what’s in this movie and it changed my life.

It’s not exactly a low budget film but it’s no Hollywood extravagance either. A young wealthy African-American man and his wife are having marriage difficulties when the wife meets a woman a generation older than her, Miss Clara, also African-American. Over coffee Miss Clara learns of Elizabeth’s despair about her marriage and she suggests that a Christian and Godly approach to the trouble would be to fight the problem in prayer and with spiritual weapons to get at the root of the difficulties: sin, forgiveness and the huge need of them all for God’s grace.

In one sense it’s a very modern movie, dealing with modern problems. But in another sense it’s a throwback to the storylines of 60 or 70 years ago. Once upon a time, it was common to have happy endings to movies. Like the famous movie with Jimmy Steward, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, things all work out in the end. That type of movie fell out of vogue long ago and so often in more recent times there’ll be some horrific ending, some depressing tale ending in death and defeat for everyone. But the thing is, for those who are in the Lord and are holding on to Him and His will, there really are happy endings, just like in this movie.

Elizabeth, the wife, after some early stumbles, finally gets down to real and desperate prayer in her “War Room”, a cleaned out closet in her house, after seeing the example of how Miss Clara had done the same at her house. I hate to say it but somehow I feel it does work better to have the lead characters in the movie be African-American. I know white folks who are just as messed up as this young wealthy couple. And also I know white folks who are just as adept at storming the gates of heaven through desperate prayer to get answers as is Miss Clara. But for this movie and for the purpose of the producers, it seems to work better with things the way they’ve done it.

So after Elizabeth getting her own repentance and personal house in order, she continues to pray desperately as she literally fulfills the words of Jesus to “enter into your closet and shut the door and pray to your father in secret.” (Matthew 6:6) And, as the Lord said, the “Father which sees in secret shall reward you openly.” Elizabeth’s husband, a very successful man by wordly standards, comes to his senses of the heart that he’s been a failure to his wife and daughter to love them and a failure to God in his hard heartedness.

Well, there’s more to it but this is the gist of it. Not a bad story line at all and certainly one that’s as needed to be seen in our times, as ever. But the original twist in some ways is that the “war” has to be won in personal, fervent prayer, repentance, confession and then going on the attack against the devil to be able to regain the ground lost to “the prince of this world”. (John 12:31)

The movie of course was panned by critics but, not surprisingly, it’s become a pretty successful movie at the box office. I personally really liked it and agree with everything that they portrayed there. If I had any qualms, it would maybe be from the perspective of someone who’s lived outside the USA for over 30 years of my adult life. The movie was evidently made and directed towards an American audience. Some scenes were reminiscent of somewhat frothy American television productions and at times I did  wonder how those in Berlin or Budapest would view and react to what they were seeing. But for those who can rise above the chummy, feel-good Americana portions of the film, the actually message and spiritual reality that’s being portrayed there is five star.

I was glad to see that there wasn’t a whisper of politics in the film and the actors all evidently really knew personally what they were trying to portray. Miss Clara in particular, the elderly African-American prayer warrior (played by Karen Abercrombie) was excellent. Again, a quibble, I’m from the southern USA and I could understand her accent without a problem. But possibly those outside the USA might have difficulty understanding Miss Clara’s southern, African-American drawl.

Overall I’d say this is a great movie and one I’d recommend. Of course if you are a smug, staunch unbeliever and scoff at prayer, you’ll probably not watch it. Or maybe you’re somewhere in between faith in God and unbelief? In that case, I’d say you should check it out.

What’s in this movie isn’t exactly what happened to me but some of it is mighty close. I had to go through some forceful breakings of my stubborn will and hardened heart by the hand of God. And it was only the undeserved grace of God I ever pulled through into the wonderful life I’ve had for many years. This movie well portrays the spiritual realities of desperate prayer, repentance, fighting spiritual warfare through prayer and the intervention of God in our lives. It’s a good movie; I hope you’ll check it out.