Sweet Potatoes with Butter

Posted on November 15, 2014 by Mark McMillion

I heard a story one time, I don’t know if it’s true. Seems it was after the Civil War in America, down in the South where the slaves were now free but still living tough, segregated lives.

So a white woman had an African American woman working for her as her “maid”. And somehow the African American women had her 2 kids there. There was something to do with sweet potatoes, very popular in the southern states. And as the story goes, the white woman was serving some sweet potatoes to the African American woman and her 2 kids. So the maid was all thankful and humbly respectful that she was being served sweet potatoes for herself and her kids.

Then the white woman passed on some butter that the maid and her two kids could put on their sweet potatoes. But the black maid respectfully declined that offer of butter for their sweet potatoes. The white woman was surprised and puzzled.

“Liza” she said, “why don’t you let those children have butter on their sweet potatoes?”

“No ma’am”, Liza said, “I don’t want my ‘chillens ever know what sweet potatoes with butter tastes like.”

End of story. What in the world could that mean? As I understand it, it’s like this. Liza and her children lived in grinding poverty. They were accustomed to doing without. But here was this rare, strange situation where they were eating sweet potatoes and maybe even getting butter on it!

But Liza knew that it was like so rare a situation, so special, that it wasn’t something that was likely to happen again. As it was already, her kids had never even known what the delicious taste of sweet potatoes with butter was like. But if they did, it would only be for that time. And afterwards they would always remember it and long to have it again. But Liza would never be able to supply something like that for her kids; it was just beyond her.

So that’s why Liza didn’t want her kids to even taste what it was like to have butter on their sweet potatoes. She felt it was better for them to never have even tasted such heavenly things than to have tasted and then to almost certainly never be able to have that again.

Kind of deep, when you think of it. There are times in life, or for some lives, when the Lord in His wisdom seems to withhold something that is prayed for and desired. We don’t know why and we long for an answer. But it doesn’t come.

And yet sometimes for one reason or the other, we have a brief taste of those “sweet potatoes with butter”, like Liza was offered to her kids. And then for reasons we usually don’t know, those heavenly tastes and experiences are not sustained and we go back to our lives we live.

Was Liza right to refuse to let her kids to even taste the sweet potatoes with butter? I personally don’t know. We are told, “With food and clothing let us be content” (I Timothy 6:8). Usually we aren’t content with only food and clothing. Most of us want more than that. And in our times, almost everyone has quite a lot more than food and clothing.

But for the Lord’s disciples, especially for those who’ve become His seasoned soldiers, He sometimes spoils us. But at other times He can keep us on a rather short leash and even lean rations, if He sees fit. We don’t always understand why. “The secret things belong to the Lord our God” (Deuteronomy 29:29).

Recently I had some “sweet potatoes with butter”. It was wonderful. But it was only for a short while. Was it good that it happened? Maybe I should have just looked at it like Liza did, just not even have let that happen since it seems it was something that could only be for a very short time. But it was really good while it lasted.

“I have learned in whatsoever state I am in, therewith to be content” (Philipians 4:11). “If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it, but whosoever shall lose his life for My sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:23 & 24). “And everyone that hath forsaken house or brethren or sister, or father or mother or wife or children or lands for My sake shall receive a hundred fold in this lifetime, and in the world to come, eternal life”. (Mark 10: 29 & 30)

Have you got sweet potatoes with butter in your life that you’ve tasted but then it’s gone? It’s tough. It’s like that for me right now. Thanks for your prayers about this. God bless you.

Bite Now, Chew Later

Posted on November 12, 2014 by Mark McMillion

Life is full of decisions. And it actually happens that those decisions, sometimes very major ones, can come down to a brief moment when some opportunity presents itself and you have to make that decision, right then, not later. It can be in a romance, it can be in your career, it can be in sports or business. You don’t always have time to weigh up every factor and slowly consider all the options. You just have that moment, that second, and you have to decide. And it may affect the rest of your life.

Jesus said one time, “What man, with an army of 10,000, going against an army of 20,000, doesn’t sit down first and count the cost whether he has sufficient to finish it?” (Luke 14:31) Absolutely true, the Lord said it.

But also sometimes you’re already in battle, things are moving and fluid and it’s not a situation where you can really pause, draw back to think it all over and pull in your councilors. Sometimes the battle’s on, the chips are down, your whole life and all you’ve fought and lived for is at stake.

This type of thing almost certainly happens to every individual. Certainly not every day but there are moments when you have to go totally by your “gut”, your instincts, and if you’re a Christian, by the “still small voice” (I Kings 19:21) and the leading of the Lord.

Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew. I have a tendency to do that. The Good Samaritan, did he bite off more than he could chew?

Probably he was busy like the other guys. Maybe those other ones just felt they had so much on their plate, maybe that fellow on the side of the road wasn’t even hurt anyway. He was faking it. Or there were accomplices hiding in the rocks that would jump anyone who stopped to help. It just wasn’t really wise to stop. Why should they? It was probably his fault. He got himself into that mess in the first place, right?

But the Good Samaritan, he stopped. Did it take him 15 minutes to decide? Did he phone 9-1-1 or take some photos first? Nope; he just decided on the spot that someone needed help and he was going to do it. He was going to take whatever time and resources were needed to help that guy.

Was that rational? Was that really economical? Was it even foolhardy? But he made that split second decision. Probably in history somewhere there was actually someone who was the Good Samaritan. Jesus wasn’t just making up fairly tales.

For me, sometimes I just have to make a decision to go ahead and “bite”, and worry about “chewing” later. If I know it’s something the Lord wants me to do, I need to just do it. I shouldn’t spend much time wondering if I’ll be able to follow through on what I’m committing to, if I’ll be able to consolidate what I’m undertaking.

So sometimes I do things that are approaching irrationality. But I’ve found that the Lord has most of the time made it so that I’ve been able to follow through with what I’ve taken on as a commitment, sometimes on the spur of the moment.

The other side of that is that I’ve had times where I was just over committed. Many years ago I was staring at an apple tree in a yard in Kolbotn, Norway. The tree was very fruitful. In fact it had maybe 5,000 apples on it, just loaded. The only probably was, all the apples were really small. If it was a farmer’s tree, it would nearly be worthless. It would have been better to have 500 big apples than 5,000 small ones.

And the Lord was just practically yelling that in my ear as a parable right then. That’s how my life had been: way too many projects and commitments that ended up being a huge crop of “little apples”, rather than a smaller crop of fully grown ones. I’m still learning on that lesson.

But it’s tough. We’re just supposed to say “yes” to the Lord. We’re also supposed to say “yes” to people. “You’re not your own, you are bought with a price.” (I Corinthians 6:19 and 7:23) “We ought to lay down our lives for our brethren” (I John 3:16). Most of the time, I figure it’s better to bite first and chew later. Usually the Lord will help me to follow through on my commitments if I make myself available to Him and even to others. “He that has begun a good work in you will perform it” (Philippians 1:6). “Faithful is He that calls you, who also will do it.” (I Thessalonians 5:24)

God spoke to Isaiah, “Who shall go for us and whom shall I send?” (Isaiah 6:8) Did Isaiah say, “Um…, I’ll look around, Lord, and try to find someone”? Nope. He said, “Here am I Lord, send me!” (Isaiah 6:8) Jesus asked His disciples, “Are you able to drink of the cup I drink of and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” (Mark 10:38) They answered zealously, but perhaps unwisely, “Lord, we are able.” (Mark 10:39) So did the Lord rebuke them for presumption and pride? No, He said, “You shall indeed be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with” (Mark 10:39). He knew even then that they would eventually face martyrdom.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit will just prompt you to go for it, not pause, think and consider. But that means you really need to be in touch with Him and be getting your instructions and even impulses from Him, from heaven. “As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the son of God.” (Romans 8:14)

Visiting Europe

Posted on October 20, 2014 by Mark McMillion

This won’t be a normal blog post, just a short update. I’ve been on the other side of the Atlantic from where I am normally. Right now I’m in Gothenburg, Sweden, visiting two of my sons and their families. I landed in Oslo, Norway around 10 days ago and visited with my daughter and son and his family who all live there. And I’m planning to visit friends in Hungary before flying back to Texas.

I’d better explain about that picture there. It is actually a car, made by the French car maker Renault, called a “Twizy”. My youngest son drives it to work; it’s electric and really a novelty. I rode in the “backseat” all the way into town from the suburbs with him and it was fun. Actually, it’s closer to being like an advanced electric go-cart than a car but it’s in the classification of a motorcycle and parks in motorcycle places. People stare at you and come to talk when you get out of the car.

I’m having fun. The visit with my kids has gone really well and we’ve had a continual good level of interaction. I guess we just grow up and want to have a better time when we are together than at times in the past. Also the opportunity to get to know my little grandsons has been really nice; they are at a very sweet age in their lives and it’s been fun to be able to have time with them.

One interesting thing that happened today was that I went with my youngest son and his wife and little boy to the kindergarten that my grandson goes to. They have recently been taking him to one run by a local church affiliated with the state church of Sweden. I was actually rather surprised as I have perhaps been a little negative or hopeless about what I have known of Christianity in this part of the world.

If you read what I wrote in “A flock of whooping cranes” last year, I mentioned in there how that for what I knew, Christianity was on its knees or beyond that in this part of the world. Well, this morning I saw that it’s not quiet that bad. I ended up having a short chat with a local Swedish priest in his 30’s who is a very dedicated and committed guy who said he was called by the Lord to his place of service, almost reluctantly.

The kindergarten was full of young couples with very small children as there was a short service of children’s songs in the small church connected to the kindergarten. It was encouraging and surprising to see faith in God to be more prevalent in Scandinavia than I had thought it was.

If all goes well, I’ll be back in Austin soon and then will have more time to give to blog posts and communications. I hope you are all dong well, thanks so much for your prayers. Your friend, Mark

The Government?

Posted on October 8, 2014 by Mark McMillion

I don’t usually like to write about secular and especially political things. But the other side of the coin is that many, if not most people, are largely concerned with secular and political “affairs of this life”. (II Timothy 2:4) So I’m going to share something here that’s mainly going to go against the grain of modern American Christian thinking. Because so very much talk by Christians now here in America is about how very bad our government is and how very bad our society is.

From one perspective, it’s refreshing in some ways because for generations Christians here were some of the most “Pollyanna” pro-American society folks you could find. But now so many Christians can hardly start a conversation without cursing the President and our government, saying they think this is about as bad as it can get.

You think America right now is really bad? Let me tell you about my experiences abroad for 36 years. I have utterly no regrets concerning my calling as a Christian missionary. But I can tell you, as much as I love the countries I’ve lived in and the people I’ve ministered to, the things I’ve seen and experienced can make me really appreciate the things that are in the USA right now.

Let’s say your house catches on fire. I lived 5 years in a wonderful country where, if your house is on fire, you will negotiate in your front yard with the fire department for how much you’ll pay to save your house while it burns down behind you. This was just business as usual and how it was done.

They’re doing good: pencils and paper! So many don’t have that. And it’s 60 students, sitting on the floor.

I’ve lived in at least 3 countries, large, famous “third world” countries where, if you’re an adult with children and you had any money at all, the first thing you did was put your children into private schools. The government schools in those countries, I won’t name them, were so utterly failing that it was virtually a curse to your children if you let them go to government school.

You make $3 a day to support your family.

You as the bread winner make $3 a day. You, your wife and kids live in a two room house. You, your wife and kids ride on your 125 cc motor scooter, all 5 of you, as you wind through traffic in the capital of 20 million, but you actually are definitely middle class. And your goal is to get your kids into private school so they can get some kind of education.

Lower middle class in America

How does that compare to us living here in the US? Makes you feel you have it pretty good? Many, if not most folks here, live in a house with 3 bedrooms, two baths, a front yard and a back yard, and probably you’ve got two cars. That would be in the upper 1% of so many countries worldwide. But it’s virtually lower middle class here. And yet we often complain about our society and government and think we’re really suffering.

A sin often mentioned as grieving God in the Bible was murmuring. “Neither murmur, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.” (I Corinthians 10:10) Griping, belly aching; we’re all prone to it. But it seems to be rife today among Christians, especially towards our government. Many seem to think that the democratically elected officials of this county are all that’s standing in the way of this nation’s greatness. As if changing the political party in power is what’s needed for God’s blessings to be poured out on the nation.

Working in Denmark, I drew minimum wage and still paid 50% income tax.

On the other hand, I’ve lived in “Post Christian” quasi-socialist societies in Northern and Western Europe where I had a job for a while and drew minimum wages at that job. Nevertheless I paid 50% taxes on that income as that was the minimum tax rate in that country. And yet virtually no one in that country complains about the tax rate or hardly even the government. They feel they have it pretty good and the society at large has agreed to that level of taxes. Almost all Americans pay way below 50% taxes. But it’s probably the single most harped on issue that’s the source of unhappiness for so many Americans. We here virtually have a heart attack about the taxes we pay and make that the center of our conversations and focus in life.

The point is, for my American Christians friends, we have it really pretty good. Many now look forward to what they expect to see soon: a complete breakdown of law and order in the USA and a police state imposed after the collapse of American society and government. Maybe that will happen; I wouldn’t be real surprised.

But you may come to wish that you had the days we have right now, with a government that’s trying to maintain law and order, schools that children can go to, a President that is flawed but sincere and trying, institutions that were set up over 200 years ago which have been the envy of the world since that time.

There’s a lot that is wrong here. But on the other hand, there’s really a lot that’s not as bad as others have it. And yet so many Christians bad mouth, complain and go on and on with how bad we think it is and how bad our leaders are.

Maybe some of them are. The gridlock in our government has been really disturbing and concerning. But constantly complaining and leading the charge of negativity and hatefulness should not be the place of godly Christians. “Let no corrupt communication proceed forth out of your mouth, but that which is good, to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

We’ve got a lot to be thankful for. The day may soon come when we look back to these times as absolute days of heaven which will never be able to return. I suggest we count our blessings, including our government, and stay busy trying to bring souls to Him, rather than being constantly heard to be a fountain of negativity about our lot and our society.

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

It could be worse. It is in so many places around the world. It may very well be that way here before long. May we all count our blessings while we have them and not be heard to gripe and complain.

Weapons to Pakistan

Posted on September 29, 2014 by Mark McMillion

(Even before I tell what happened, let me say that this is in no way a negative article about anyone in the Subcontinent at all. I spent 18 happy months there in the 1980’s. It’s full of wonderful people and what I’m going to tell here could have happened in Burma, Bulgaria or Bolivia. The heart of man is the same the world over.)

In the late 1980’s I was in Delhi, the capital of India, for a few weeks. As my custom was, I decided to go personal witnessing one afternoon in an area where there were some high rise apartments. At one door I rang the bell to, the woman opened the door and I began my greeting and explanation, as I usually did.

She looked at me silently, long and hard, and then the first thing she said was, blurting it out,

I paused, shot up a quick prayer to the Lord and then told her with peace in my heart,

There was a brief silence as we looked at each other. Finally she smiled slightly and explained what she meant. And I answered that I understood what she had meant.

She recognized from my looks and accent that I was an American. At that time it was a very topical subject in the society as to how America seemed to be supporting Pakistan in its disputes with India and that it evidently was sending weapons to Pakistan. It was a very big subject in India and in Delhi at the time.

So when this woman saw me at her door, all she could think about was how, at an international level, my country seemed to be arming her country’s opponents. But of course the reality was that I personally had nothing to do with it at all. We ended up having a good talk there that afternoon.There was a little touch of humor to the experience and it somewhat brought us together as we talked.

And you might say, “So what?” For me, that experience was a perfect illustration of what so often goes on in human contact around the world which is damaging and wrong: stereotypes, prejudges, nationalism, racism, and the multitude of divisions and hatreds that plague and divide our world, wherever we go.

I’ve actually very seldom ever, in my 36 years outside the US, experienced anything approaching hatred toward me as an American or a white or a Christian. [And just to mention it, that woman in Delhi didn’t hate me; it was just a brief misunderstanding that cleared up right away.] I think it’s helped that I learned very early on to not bring with me the outward show of Americanisms and the mannerisms that some folks bring with them if they travel outside the USA. I went aboard, not to represent America but as a representative, God helping me, of Jesus Christ.

But to me, that woman’s initial judgment of me strictly along the lines of nationalism and secularism was a perfect example of human nature, worldwide: the sad, imperfect, divisive side of human nature.

“Chauvinism” is not a word in the Bible. But it means “an excessive or prejudiced loyalty or support for one’s own cause, group, or gender”. It’s a temptation for everyone, everywhere. But it’s opposed to the spirit of Christianity and the spirit of love.

Love doesn’t look at the outward appearance. That’s why God told Samuel, “Look not on his appearance, for God sees not as man sees. For man looks on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7) And doubtless He would have us to do the same.

It says in the New Testament that God has “broken down the middle wall of partition between us” (Ephesians 2:14), in this case speaking of the division between the Jews and the Greeks of those days, through the love of Christ. But God has been in the business of breaking down prejudices, hatreds and divisions for many centuries.

It says of Jesus, He “…will gather together in one the children of God that are scattered abroad.” (John 11:52) And to do this, He wants us to not look on the outward appearance, the nationality, the race, the age, the sex, the social status of ones we meet. He wants us to look at others they way He does, to look at the heart with love.

Hateful prejudices, chauvinism, nationalism, these are things that must grieve the heart of God. It says of Jesus, “He looked about with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their heart” (Mark 3:5). Jesus of Nazareth was not often recorded as being angry. But one time there it says He was angry at the hardness of hearts.

And just think how many people today, often people who consider themselves to be very Godly, are full of fear and hatred through the hardness of their hearts, encouraged by false shepherds to hate and fear others, to nourish division and hatred of those not of their faith, nation or culture. The Gospel of Jesus Christ was exactly the very opposite of that.

Happily that afternoon, the woman I met at the door and I were able to laugh at the thought that I’d sold weapons to Pakistan. May God help His people to realize their foolish labels and prejudices against so many are anathema to His loving Spirit and ways. And that they grieve and hinder His work in His people, unless they repent of them.

Isn’t God Enough?

Posted on September 24, 2014 by Mark McMillion

There was a 7 month period of time when I strongly and sincerely believed in God, but I just didn’t know who Jesus was. I wrote about my experience in “Lucifer and the White Moths” where I very nearly died and was carried by Satan into the spirit world to be his. But by the mercy of God, I called out to Him at that time. That’s how I came to know that God was real. As the Bible says, “some saved by fire” (I Corinthians 3:15) . That was me.

But was I saved? I don’t know. I’d had an utter change in my life. I went from being a hardened, mocking atheist to being a stunned, almost speechless believer. I believed in the God of the Bible. I had personally experienced the God of the Bible and the Satan of the Bible as well. But I had no idea who Jesus was. I totally didn’t know the difference between Jesus and Moses and Paul and Abraham. A verse I read a few months later, after I became a Christian, was “God is not in all their thoughts.” (Psalms 10:4) Boy, I could relate to that verse. When I read that, I immediately felt, “That’s just the way I was before all these things happened to me”.

And yet, I didn’t know Jesus. I didn’t pray to Jesus or have any knowledge of Him. I went to a couple of churches in Austin during those months in order to try to find out from them about Jesus. But I guess I looked like a hippy at the time, although I wasn’t a hippy. And in those days, churches were not too friendly to hippies.

But I’ve often wondered, “What would have happened to me if I’d died during that time?” Would I have gone to heaven? I wasn’t a Christian. In many ways actually I was like a Muslim or Jew who believes in the God of Abraham and prays to God from their heart. That’s how I was. If I had died right then, would I go to hell? It’s actually a rather deep question and brings up a lot of pretty touchy theological questions, which can lead to some very heated debates.

For me at least, the good news was that the Lord was preparing a way for me to meet some people who could tell me about Jesus. Just after New Year of 1970, I met some Jesus People. And they really knew their stuff.

Student demonstrations, 1969

Earlier that year, the SDS, the Students for a Democratic Society, had had their national meeting in Austin. I went to that convention and also to some of their private parties afterwards. I met people informally who were part of the Weathermen who ended up on the FBI’s Top Ten wanted list. So I had been in some pretty radical and serious circles in the last months.

But those Jesus People had more certainty and just plain answers than anything I’d ever seen. They could answer me with Scriptures. I was 21 by then but a lot of them were no more than 19 or even 17 years old. But they showed me verse after verse from the Bible to answer my questions and to show me that I needed to receive Jesus and to be born again.

When I did that, after several talks with them, I didn’t suddenly have a swirling heavenly feeling and saw the gates of paradise opened. I’d already had a lot of experiences and I think the Lord figured that I just didn’t need any big emotions right then. But something really did change mightily. All during that last 7 months, I’d been reading the Bible every day. I read all the way through it from cover to cover and was on my second reading. Had I really gotten a lot out of it? No. Virtually nothing. I was convinced that God’s will was that I should be sacrificing chickens and goats since there was so much of that in the Bible and it was obvious that this was God’s will for mankind. That’s how be-darkened I was.

But the strongest thing that happened to me when I received Jesus was that it was almost like those 3-D glasses that are given to people when they see a 3-D movie. Without them the movie is all a blur. But when you put them on, it all becomes clear, in 3-D. When I was born again through receiving Jesus as my Lord and asking Him into my heart, that was when the Bible suddenly began to flood my mind and heart as it had not done at all before that time. I really fell in love with the truth that was there and that love is still with me till now.

Was God enough? For me, I can say that it wasn’t till I received Jesus that I truly was what I needed to be. Even during that 7 months when I prayed to God every day, I was still a little afraid of the Devil. I still was weak through my sins and at one point even started using some light drugs again. But when I received the Lord, I was no longer afraid of the Devil. Also like the verse says, “As many as received Him, to them gave He power…” (John 1:12) that was really, really true for me.

I had the power now to resist sin. I had experienced a change of heart and I knew that I was just not the same person or even the same thing as I’d been before. What would have happened if I’d died with only believing and praying to God? I really don’t know. But I know I was like what the Old Testament calls, “a half baked cake” (Hosea 7:8), I wasn’t fully what God wanted me to be and what God planned for me. Yes, I did believe in the God of Abraham, vehemently and sincerely. But I was not complete till I came to Jesus. That’s why the Bible says, “We are complete in Him” (Colossians 2:10) and why, if you only believe in God, there’s really more for you that you’ve not experienced yet. Just like what happened to me.

Mighty Angels

Posted on September 20, 2014 by Mark McMillion

I’m going to tell you something that might be hard to believe. But it’s the truth—and almost certainly the most supernatural experience I’ve ever had while fully awake and on my feet.

In an earlier blog post, I shared a story titled “That’s not how to talk about Jesus.”, from a period in the early 1970s when I was witnessing daily near the University of California at Berkeley campus. This experience took place during that same time.

My friends and I would take our converted “hippie bus,” which we’d turned into a kind of mobile coffeehouse, and park near the campus. Each day, we’d break into pairs—just like how Jesus sent His disciples out “two by two” (Mark 6:7). Everyone would head off with guitars and Bibles to witness to the students, as well as the many dropouts and travelers who filled the area back then.

Since I was one of the “older ones” in the Lord—already in my early twenties—I stayed behind with the bus to watch over it and hand out sandwiches to anyone who asked.

That’s when this “person” came up to me. He looked to be around my age and size, with long red hair and a red plaid shirt. At first, nothing seemed unusual. But things quickly took a turn into the extraordinary—something unlike anything I’ve experienced before or since.

Let me share a verse that’s key to understanding what happened: “You were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise” (Ephesians 1:13). While someone might harm our physical bodies, and the devil may tempt us fiercely, the truth is that we belong to the mighty God. If you are one of His, your soul and spirit are sealed and no one can enter in except the Lord Himself, or one of His messengers.

As I began talking with this “man”, something shifted dramatically. Though we spoke English, the depth and weight of his words began to penetrate and elevate me—as if I were being carried up in a spiritual elevator. Every time I spoke, he would respond with something far deeper, drawing me up into layers of spirituality that are hard to describe.

I wish I had written it all down immediately after it happened. But the experience was so overwhelming, I don’t think I could have. It was as if language itself began to fall away, and we were communicating on a level beyond ordinary words—more heavenly than human.

It was unnerving. I realized I was in the presence of a being far more powerful than I was—someone who could see through me entirely, easily breaching any defenses I might’ve put up. And yet, despite the awe and fear I felt, I knew this being was benign, not malevolent. He was not there to harm, but he was deadly serious. It was a moment of immense spiritual weight.

I’d had spiritual experiences before, even encounters with demon-possessed people. But this was something else entirely. I could have walked away—I wasn’t being held there—but I didn’t. What happened next was unlike anything I’ve ever known. It was, quite simply, an energy transfer.

Though the being didn’t look like the stereotypical angelic depictions, the power and solemnity he carried felt consistent with how angels are often described. He never touched me, but it felt like he reached into my soul, gripped it, and poured a surge of spirit and energy into me. It wasn’t anger. It wasn’t tender. It was serious. And it was holy.

The message, if there was one, seemed to be this: You have seen much. You know much. And you are very accountable for it. The sense was clear—walk soberly, walk worthy (Ephesians 4:1), and do not treat lightly what God has done for you. There was no rebuke, just the overwhelming presence of God’s seriousness and the fear of the Lord.

Words fail to truly capture what happened. It was mid-day, in a parking lot near Berkeley. I felt that this being could have tossed me into the air or struck me dead if that had been God’s will. And yet, it was a “clean fear” like a post I wrote “Fear God“, about “the fear of the Lord is clean”. (Psalm 19:9). Nothing harmful occurred—only the destruction of any shallowness or wavering within me. Any complacency was burned away. I hadn’t thought of myself as shallow at the time. But the Lord was making it unmistakably clear: total commitment and focus were non-negotiable.

I was just weeks away from leaving the U.S. to be a missionary in Europe. In hindsight, it seems this visitation was God’s way of preparing me—strengthening and sobering me for the challenges and spiritual battles that lay ahead.

It was almost like a spiritual umbilical cord. The “man” never touched me, but his words and presence bypassed my intellect and infused my very spirit and being. It reminded me of that scene in The Matrix where Neo gets a data upload directly into his brain—but this was no fiction. It was real time on the street, face-to-face, spirit-to-spirit. His presence left a deep imprint I’ve never forgotten.

Then he was gone. I was shaken, but not harmed—in fact, strengthened. I’ve never had an experience like that again. I’ve had one or two other angelic encounters, and I’ll try to share those in future posts.

If I were reading this story, I might wonder, Is this guy making it up? But I’m not. This happened to me.

Angels are out there. “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.” (Psalm 34:7) They help guide and guard us, especially when we’re being called to a higher level of service. Still, experiences like this are difficult to put into words. They transcend our usual understanding and vocabulary.

But I share this because I believe someone needs to hear it. Maybe it’s you.

“UP AGAINST THE WALL!!”

Posted on September 17, 2014 by Mark McMillion

Would God do a miracle for an unbeliever? An atheist? Jesus said that God “sends the rain on the just and the unjust” (Matthew 5:44) He certainly did a miracle for me that kept me out of 2 years of prison at a time when I was really not a believer. Here’s what happened.

While I was going to the University of Texas in Austin back in the late 60’s, I had a nice job, drove a sports car and I was an atheist. I smoked marijuana from time to time, used psychedelics and sometimes I sold a little marijuana and psychedelics. I never sold stuff on the streets, just to close friends. But after awhile I got a little careless. Friends would come with their friends, people I didn’t know.

I lived in an efficiency apartment near the campus and one afternoon I was ironing shirts in my tiny kitchen. Then, kind of out of nowhere, the idea came to me that I really should take my drugs and go put them away somewhere.

I hadn’t been thinking about that till then. But I stopped ironing my shirts, put my several ounces of marijuana and the various pills I had into a paper grocery bag. My thinking was that this would somehow make it look like I was walking around with groceries.

I walked out the door of my apartment and right there was a man on a ladder. That wasn’t normal but I figured he was a repairman. He looked down at me and the paper bag but I guess he just saw the loaf of bread on top.

Shoal Creek, near the University of Texas in Austin

I walked a few blocks down to Shoal Creek, a well known place that students and locals go to for nature walks. I found a secluded spot, put my drugs underneath a rock and walked back to my apartment.

When I got there, I was surprised because the lights were on inside and I always turned off the lights when I left. I unlocked the door. And I was completely in shock to have two policemen with drawn guns coming out of my bathroom and kitchen, yelling at me, “Put your hands up against the wall!”

They had a search warrant for my apartment. I sat on the sofa while they searched everything. In those days, if the police even found a stem, seeds or the tiniest butt of a marijuana cigarette, it would virtually guarantee that you’d spend two years in Huntsville state prison, even as a first time offender. As it turned out, they did find some tiny seeds or stems of marijuana on my carpet.

At last they talked to me and said, “We can take you in for what we found here, the seeds and stems. But we didn’t find what the search warrant was written for. So if we take this to a grand jury, we won’t win. But we’re watching you.”

So they left. And I sat there. Did I praise God? Did I say, “Thank you Jesus!” No. I was a hardened atheist. I believed in nothing other than evolution, chance and the law of averages. (This is what I wrote about in “God is Chance”.) I was convinced that’s all there was.

I can tell you, things like this can really be tough on atheists. All I was really thinking about was,

“Why did I get that idea right then, when I was ironing shirts, to go put my dope away?!”

I hadn’t thought about that before then.The guy on the ladder outside my apartment? Almost certainly a police stakeout. He looked at the bag of drugs but saw the loaf of bread and didn’t do anything. The time between when I left my apartment and when I got back was around 20 minutes. I missed going to prison for 2 years by 20 minutes. It was like I’d been run over by a big truck but somehow I ended up between the wheels. That was how I thought about it afterwards.

So next Sunday I was in church, right? Suit and tie, big haircut and had really changed my ways? Not at all. I was deeply “hardened through the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). “Though mercy be shown to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness” (Isiah 26:10).

I guess I just thought that I’d been really, really lucky. But the thing is, all the time, things like this kept happening to me, for good and for bad. Not every day. But these were things that atheism was having a real hard time explaining.

From “Lucifer and the White Moths”

I guess the end of the story is what I wrote about in “Lucifer and the White Moths”. It was over a year later when it virtually took death itself and going to the eternal fires of hell to wake me up enough to turn towards the Lord. But He, in His infinite foresight and knowledge, knew that ultimately I would make that turn to Him.

At the bottom of my heart I was desperately looking for the truth and wanted to do something good with my life. I just really didn’t know there was a spiritual world. So God in His love chose that day to send an angel to probably yell in my ear to get those drugs out of my apartment immediately. I just thought it was my own thoughts. Thank God for His unfathomable love and mercy and power.

Looking back, and up ahead

Posted on September 7, 2014 by Mark McMillion

As some of you know, I had a birthday in the last few days. But there’s something happening at this time which is a bigger milestone than that. I’ve finally completed the present video I’ve been working on, the one about Daniel 9:27 and the last 7 year before the coming of the Lord.

If you’d told me, 25 years ago, that in the future I’d be able to make a video series like this which can be viewed quickly and simply by people around the world, I definitely would have been really happy to hear that. It’s not that I’ve completed all the videos to be done on the prophecies of Daniel. But this video that’s just now been finished is what could be considered the seminal video in the series that brings together the pith and essence of the message about the future contained in Daniel. This is the chapter and the verse that Jesus Himself referred to when He was asked about His return.

Possibly the next blog article I post after this one, probably later this week, will announce this video and make it available. And since I did the first filming on this Daniel project over 11 years ago, it’s a feeling of accomplished and satisfaction in the Lord to know that there are 6 full length videos and 3 supplementary ones that delve into the depths of the prophecies of Daniel, but which also are hopefully simple enough that folks without a lot of theology background can understand them and share them with others.

But, as many of us know, it can be a rather dangerous place if you get to where you are satisfied and feel you have come to the pinnacle and ultimate plateau of your work and life. Thankfully, I don’t feel that way at all. It is nice to realize that a dream in some ways has become reality. But there’s still so very much to do, seed to sow, fields to reap, worlds to be changed, lives to be touched, that there’s no room or place for complacency or a sense of having arrived.

Presently, my vision for the next months is not to immediately jump into the next chapter in Daniel, chapter 10, and to do a video about that. Months ago the Lord laid it on my heart to get these videos into other languages. Having lived in so many countries, I feel I know that there’s a vast hunger for teaching on the future that is Bible based, visual, somewhat brief and is simple enough that “normal folks” can understand it and grasp its significance.

Over the last few months I’ve started working with translators and audio dubbers in seven languages so far. My goal is to at least get the first two videos I’ve done in English over into these other languages. After that, I’ll aim to have those posted on a “Prophecies of Daniel” web site in those languages and to begin to do blog posts regularly there as I continue to get the next videos done into those languages and posted on those sites. It’s kind of a big vision. But also it’s very exciting and something that I feel, if it can happen, can really be a help to so many.

And there are other things coming up. It looks like I’ll be making a trip to Europe to visit my family in October. And my hope is to make another visit there early next year to talk with the translators and the ones doing the dubbing of the videos into some of the other languages. There’s a lot to look forward to.

Their own Gospel of John in their language, Zulu

Another thing that I haven’t mentioned is how my friends here in Austin have been helping towards missionary efforts of my friends abroad. A lot of this has been in the purchase of Bibles and especially Gospels of John. There are local pastors in Africa who don’t even have a Bible in their own language. So we’ve been working with ones on the field to purchase Bibles for ones like this.

“Holding forth the Word of life…” (Philippians 2:16)

Also there have been some large purchases of Gospels of John which have been distributed to members of congregations and also in schools. The brother who was the translator of my classes in Budapest, Hungary 20 years ago has been working in KwaZulu-Natal in South Africa for 11 years now. He does programs in high schools there and he is distributing thousands of gospels of John to the students in the local language, Zulu. It’s a thrill because those young folks will be able to take those booklets home to share with their parents, grandparents and larger family. Probably for most, it will be the first time they’ve had even a piece of the Bible in their home.

So, overall, it’s a happy time. Lots of good things have been happening and I feel there are still yet many more things within view up ahead that will keep me busy and active, fighting for something that I feel is worth fighting for. And that’s to feed His sheep, to try to publish “glad tidings” and just to live for Him and for others. It’s been a very good year, thank the Lord. I hope you’ve had the same.

A tender heart

Posted on August 24, 2014 by Mark McMillion

It was a continual source of embarrassment for me, growing up, that I would from time to time cry. Young men in Texas just didn’t cry; in fact men overall just didn’t cry. It was a serious sign of weakness and a lack of manliness. But I was appalled with myself, as I became a teen, that I would still cry from time to time. There’s more to the story, I was in a situation that I won’t go into. But at the time, it just seemed like there was an overwhelming amount of cruelty and hopelessness that continually broke my heart. I was deeply embarrassed by it all.

Then in my twenties I met some people a generation older than me who were for me, at the time, a real sample of Christianity. And I strongly noticed that they cried rather easily. They cried for the heartbreak of others. They cried for the young people of that time who were lost and wandering around the nation. It was like what the Bible says about Jesus, “But when He saw the multitude, He was moved with compassion upon them, for they fainted and were scattered abroad, as sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:26)

And having recently come to the Lord, I learned that Jesus Himself cried. It says in John 11:35, “Jesus wept”. I learned that King David said, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, oh God, you will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17) So God does not despise a broken heart. In fact it says, “The Lord is near to them who are of a broken heart and saves such as be of a contrite spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) I began to feel a little better. Maybe this tendency I had to cry rather easily was, in God’s eyes, perhaps more an asset than a liability. I was beginning to think that it could be good to be tender-hearted.

Of course in the ways of the world, “the course of this world” (Ephesians 2:2), nothing can be further from the truth. The only way to be is utterly and complete heartless, unmoved by anything. This is the way of “a true man”, the goal for every male on the planet. So would the godless of this world say and have it.

But not in the eyes of God. You don’t find too many times in the Bible where it specifically says that Jesus was angry. And if you know anything about the Bible, you probably know that it doesn’t say Jesus went bursting into a brothel or a bar with a whip He had made. But it does say that He did that in the temple in Jerusalem to confront the merchants who were commercializing the worship of God there. But another time it is even clearer. Here’s a passage in Mark chapter 3 which perhaps shows how He felt about having a hardened, cruel heart.

“And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand. And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the Sabbath day; that they might accuse him. And He said unto the man which had the withered hand, “Stand forth”. And He said unto them, “Is it lawful to do good on the Sabbath days, or to do evil? To save life, or to kill?” But they held their peace. And when He had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, He said unto the man, “Stretch forth your hand”. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other. (Mark 3:1-5)

Jesus of Nazareth was angry at the hardness of their hearts, that they were more concerned about dutiful law-keeping than they were about the needs of the crippled man.

If you have a tender heart, if you cry easily, don’t worry about it. Maybe it’s a gift. Maybe you should thank God that you don’t have the demonically cold, compassionless heart that is the goal of so many in our world today. Maybe you should ask God to help you “keep your heart with all diligence”. (Proverbs 4:23)

We can’t just go around all the time, blubbering along in our tears and being a total basket case emotionally. But if you bring your tender heart to the Lord and ask Him to fill it with Himself, His Spirit and perhaps especially with His Word, you may be able to grow into a compassionate, healthy human being, healthy not only in the physical but also in the things of the heart as well as the mind and the spirit. He’s promised to give us a “sound mind” (II Timothy 1:7). But another great promise is, “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.” (Psalm 37:34) God bless you and keep you broken, compassionate and full of love for God and your fellow human beings.

Mark McMillion

Creeds and Deeds, Facts and Acts

Category Archives: My Past