Category Archives: My Past

Bad death, good death

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I was thinking about death. I guess I experienced “bad death” just before I turned 21. I had a near death experience that wasn’t one of those “the-angel-introduces-you-to-Jesus” experiences. Nope, I got the other guy. And rightly so.

I was an utter atheist and I enjoyed trying to break the faith of any quasi-Christians that came across my path. But when I was very nearly pulled out of my body by the spirit of darkness, there was a terror and a bundle of emotions which don’t really have words to reflect them in English.

I was experiencing a bad death. I didn’t believe in God and I was very nearly at the edge of the precipice into eternity and everlasting life but in an unregenerate state.

This was the experience of the unsaved because that was how I was at that time, passing out of my body and into eternity but without salvation in Jesus. If you have read much about folks who have life-after-death experiences or near death experiences, one continually striking characteristic is that almost everyone finds it hard to describe what they experienced.

And I believe it’s because they’re trying to describe experiences and realms that our language just doesn’t have words for, or at least very little. So folks think that those who experience these things are just making it up. Or they are in some kind of strange place in their minds and that they will soon “return to their senses”.

But so often those who have gone through these things say that actually and really, those experiences were more real, more true and more containing the essences of life than what we mostly all experience on a day-to-day level. And I can certainly agree with that. So I went through, or at least nearly so, a “bad death”. The death of the unsaved.

And as folks age, as we all do, we often think more of death. For me, I have to comfort myself in the thought that my death at the end of my life will not be what I experienced just before I turned 21. I experienced a “bad death”. And I deserved that at that time because I’d “mocked the messengers of God and despised His word and misused his prophets” (II Chronicles 36:16) so that the Lord allowed me to receive what I deserved, right up to the very point of death and eternal damnation.

But that was what it took to deliver me from atheism. That was the most major turning point in my life and the dawn and beginning of a life of faith, belief and deliverance in God. Some months later I received Jesus as my Savior and after that have served Him in many countries for over 50 years.

Now in my 70’s, longevity in my genes, I look forward to the point somewhere ahead when I do experience what we all experience. “So death passed upon all men…” (Romans 5:12) But that death ahead of me will not be like what I went through over 50 years ago. That coming death will be what can be called a “good death”. Paul the Apostle said, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain”. (Philippians 1:21)

Death for a Christian, although this goes against so much of our “carnal mind” as the Bible calls it, is actually a release, a graduation, a transition and an alteration into the condition God has planned and ordained for His children and saints since the beginning of time. Jesus said, “Whosoever believes in Me shall never die.” (John 11:26)

So my experience from when I was 20 is not really a good analogy for me to use when thinking ahead to what that experience will be at the end of my life. Maybe in some ways it is because I did experience that sudden, shocking and complete change that occurs. But back then, it was from this world into a so much worse world of horror and meaningless confusion that words fail to describe. I experienced the terrors of hell in its eternal state.

But the “good death” to come for me will have a few similarities but mostly be utterly different. I won’t be falling into bottomless nothingness forever. I will be leaving this physical plane, this earthly existence and going on to inherit the destiny that’s been planned and prepared for me by the Lord since the foundation of the world.

That’s what the people of faith, the people of Jesus, have to look forward to at the end of their lives. Their carnal minds may still grown and creak with the whole concept of “eternal life”. But that’s ok. Like God said to Job, “Shall it be according to your mind?” (Job 34:33) No, it will not be according to our carnal, worldly minds and understanding.

“Now unto him that shall do exceeding abundantly, above all we can ask or think…, unto Him be glory in the church throughout all ages, world without end.” (Ephesians 3:20 & 21)   I’m looking forward to a good death. How about you?

Before the storm

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Some of us are like water drops, before the storm. We’ve been in storms before. Now, we’re just floating around, tiny droplets who before were parts of mighty storms. But only God can do it. Storms, when they’re from God, are good. They bring rain and wind, they clear the air and actually shake things up, something that’s so often needed.

Then what? The storm passes and the clouds recede. Often calm returns. I don’t know if water drops have thoughts like this, I suppose they don’t.

But maybe somewhere someone wants to be part of a storm again. They have the vision for it; they feel it’s what they’re created for. The calm and mundane bore them and almost get on their nerves. They long to be part of the storm, part of the change, part of the shake-up, part of the revelation and part of the exposure of drooping, languid regularity that so often leads to lethargy and lassitude.

That’s how I am at least. I’ve been a part of storms all my life, often some really big ones. It was a storm of God that brought me to Jesus, the “Jesus movement” that was so powerful when I was in university and was an integral part of how I came to salvation.

I’ve seen the good they do, the stupor they shock, the indifferent indolence they overcome. “The Lord has his way in the whirl wind and the storm.” (Nahum 1:3) I wrote a blog article about that verse after a tornado passed directly over my parents’ house where I was a few years ago. You can read about that here.

But if we just go around trying to be storms, we’ll make a fool of ourselves and amount to nothing. The Lord has to do it, we can’t do it ourselves. He has to stir up the wind, He has to define and ordain the times.

Our part is to be in the right place, at the right time, in His will. Then we’ll be available, ready and willing when the circumstances are right and the Lord brings the storm. Perhaps, meanwhile, we’ll just be part of some scattered showers here and there. Normal little rains are also very needed and they are more prevalent than storms.

So, like the little local rains, we Christian water molecules will keep being part of the rain. “You, Lord, did send a plentiful rain whereby you did strengthen your inheritance, when it was weary.” (Psalm 68:9) The best ability is availability. Maybe we won’t right now be part of a storm but we can at least be available to be the rain. We can witness the Lord’s truth and love to individuals here and there, the ones who will hear it and even those who don’t.

But if you’re like me, you long for the storm, to be a part of something that’s bringing major change, ordained by the hand of God, that really stirs things up, that brings clarity like lightning does on a dark night.

The lightning of God strikes, illuminating all around it, profound, direct, unstoppable, unquestionable. And we little droplets of the waters of God are swept up in the mighty acts of God that move across the nations, affecting all before it and bringing the mind of God again to this befuddled world.

But God has His times. Sometimes the best is to just keep looking to Him, looking for opportunities, being faithful in season and out of season. Let’s face it, that’s how it has been for most Christians, down through the centuries. They haven’t been a part of the storms some of us have. They “despised not the day of small things.” (Zachariah 4:10) They “did what they could.” (Mark 14:8)

Nevertheless, we can pray. We can hope and look to the Lord that He will yet send another storm. Some of us feel that this is what we are ordained for, this is what we find our destiny in. As it was said to Esther in the Bible, “You are come into the kingdom for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

But we are not the generals, we are not the Lord of hosts, the captain of the armies of God. We are just His soldiers who’ve fought for Him in campaigns in years past, having seen His mighty hand, having seen His mighty victories and rejoiced in the amazing light and clarity that was a part of those storms, those battles. United with other droplets, we are part of something greater, used of God and rising above to be a part of that moment when God is sweeping the world with His power, might, truth and love.

Maybe that will never happen again. Maybe we’ll just continue to be part of the showers that fall locally from time to time. Or just be the dew of the morning. And if that is His will, then His will be done.

But for me at least, I hope there will be another storm. I hope the Lord will bring the elements together, bring the wind, bring the magnitude of truth that He pours out in the times of mighty change that comes with His storms. And I pray that I and my many friends who’ve been a part of the storms of God in the past will yet again be swept up by His mighty will to bring refreshing, truth and change to this deeply confused and bewildered present world.

Not old-old

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My mom said to  me, “I’m old. But I’m not old-old.” She was in her 80’s at the time. That always struck me as an interesting viewpoint. Personally, I can’t really consider myself middle-aged any more. But I certainly don’t consider myself “old-old”.

I heard someone say, “You’re as old as your last revolution.” A similar thought is what was said about some people, that they “died at 30, were buried at 60.” They quit at 30 but didn’t die till 60.

However, when you have the Lord, when you have a vision, a purpose and a desire to keep alive so that you can continue to do something meaningful with you your life, somehow the Lord often comes through, sustains you and gives you a continuation of meaningful life beyond what you might otherwise have had if you’d lost the vision, lost a purpose or a zest for living and a desire for continuing to live for the Lord and others.

Way back in the 1970’s, there was some current teenage Asian guru who was quoted as saying, “We’re all old; we can die tomorrow.” Well, he was right about that. I’ve had several very dear friends pass on to their reward in recent times and it’s an emotion without name to ponder those dear friends who so recently were here and are now no longer with us.

Still, we are here. Still, there is a reason to stay alive, if nothing else to help others, to alleviate in whatever way we can the suffering that’s the plight of so many and to share the love of God with the world. I’ve written a number of articles somewhat on this subject in the past. I wrote about Solomon, king of Israel, who evidently had fallen away from God’s highest and best but he still had the vision to continue on in his calling and ministry. I wrote about that in “Still”.

Or there was Ruth in the Bible, returning to her own land in her old age, evidently in utter defeat and failure. But unknown to her, the most significant portion of her life was still ahead. I wrote about that in “So You Had To Go Home”.

One of the most famous series of movies ever had the hero, Obi Wan Kenobi, a washed up elderly Jedi living off in his cave, apparently beyond his time and his portion in life. But the best was yet to come. I wrote about that in “Obi wan Kenobi in his cave”.

They say, “Youth is wasted on the wrong people”, ha! Well, I don’t know. If you can find a place in time where you have the power and energy of youth but the wisdom, focus and balance of full adulthood, you’ve then come to a good place.

To be honest, my present early 70’s are ok. I have friends who’ve gone on to be with the Lord. But He’s allowed me to still be here for now. And He’s given me a vision and a sense of purpose that compels me to do what I can each day to put in a full day’s work for Him and others.

I filled out some forms recently and I was asked “Are you retired?” Ha! I almost laughed. In one way, maybe technically I’m retired. But in another way, I am utterly not retired. The Bible says, “There is no discharge in this war.” (Ecclesiastes 8:8) For those serving the Lord, on the wall of His will, keeping the faith and the vision, I don’t think there’s much in the way of retirement. Why should we? The need is still there, people are dying in despair and without God. How can we do less than continue to do our best for Him?

Of course there are those who are bed-ridden and in their final months, weeks and days. But there’s a wonderful thing about the life of faith and service for the Lord: as far as I can see, it’s not something you retire from, like some secular, worldly job.

It’s like if you suddenly got a call from your uncle or grandfather. You were shocked to hear that he was at 21,000 feet on a climb of Mount Everest. “Grandpa! Grandpa! Are you ok?!”, you said.

You had a good connection and could hear him clearly, “Yes, I’m fine. Things are good.”

So you said, “Grandpa, what’s it like?!”

He replied, “It’s so clear, a little cold but the air is amazing and I can see so far. We’ve established a camp and plan to push for the summit in the next days. It’s exhilarating.”

Maybe that’s not a perfect example but possibly that’s how it can and should be. Life is like a mountain climb and as we get closer to the summit, the view is better, the air is purer and many things fade into lesser meaning. I may not be that far along yet. But I’m just trying to tell you that it’s not so bad and there’s still an alive-ness that keeps kicking and the Lord really does keep things going.

Conflicting currents and viewpoints

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Six years ago I was told, “By 2020, Texas will be uninhabitable. The temperature will reach 120 degrees (50° Centigrade) each summer. Huge population migrations will happen as a result.” A dear friend with strong environmentalist views told me this.

Then last November I had a clash with a missionary friend who I’ve known for decades.  He was passionate about the need for assault rifles with large cartridges to hold dozens of bullets. And he was emphatic that the Corona virus vaccine would be the literal fulfillment of “the Mark of the Beast”, spoken of in the book of Revelation chapter 13.

Many were listening to him right then and I felt I had to speak what I felt. I told him I didn’t believe the corona virus vaccine was the fulfillment of the Mark of the Beast. It was unpleasant to be so frank with a good friend but I knew I needed to share what I believed was the truth. I asked him then about the American national election that was happening in a week, what did he see would be happening? With utter conviction he said that Donald Trump would be reelected as President and that the Democrats would then start prolonged, violent civil unrest throughout the USA because of it.

These people are dear to me and I want to stay friends with them. The Bible says, “If it be possible, as much as lies within you, live peaceably with all men”. (Romans 12:18) But other verses come into play and, reluctantly and with Godly caution, they must be considered at times. Jude said that there was a time when we need to “earnestly contend for the faith” (Jude 1:3). Paul said “The servant of the Lord must not strive but be gentle unto all men,.. in meekness instructing those who oppose themselves …” (II Timothy 2:24-25).

Truthfully I think I can say I’ve seldom ever seen as much division and disunity among both Christians and people in general here in America. It’s particularly disheartening to have such division with close friends who I want so much to be of the same mind with. But often it’s just not how it is now.

I feel the danger is that there’s an incredible pull towards extremist views now that are not substantiated by the fundamentals of Christianity. Multitudes of Christians are being drawn into powerful vortexes of radical, fringe views that masquerade as Christian, or scientific, or with some supposed high ethical stand that all true Christians are seemingly compelled to follow.

I’ve had to take measures to simply hold on to the fundamental truths and basics of the Word of God that has sustained me through the last 50+ years. No matter how seemingly Christian, supposedly scientific or utterly substantiated some current view is that so many are being swept up in, I’ve had to exercise my spiritual discernment to try to sense the essence of some things and to ascertain what truth they may have, if any.

My friend told me 6 years ago that Texas would be uninhabitable by 2020. That wasn’t true, that didn’t happen. On the other hand, some serious weather events have happened here, both extreme droughts and in the recent winter extreme freezes. In driving through Texas now, I’ve never seen so many trees that have died of drought or prolonged frost. My friend’s timing may have been off. But it’s hard to not see that something is happening with the climate and the weather.

The song from the Buffalo Springfield back in the 1960’s said, “Something’s happening here. But what it is ain’t exactly clear..”. That well describes things currently. What to do? For me, I’m convinced that I can and should hold on the basics of God’s Word that have proven true for the people of faith for thousands of year. I may not have full understanding of all that’s taking place right now. In spite of that, I have in my grasp the fundamentals that God has given His people in His Word that will provide light and guidance in any time, no matter how confusing or unprecedented.

There are serious, extremist views coming at all of us from both “the Left” and “the Right”, not to mention ceaseless modern heresies Driving-in-fogand multiple temptations thrown at us from the prince of this world. Sometimes we don’t know how to go forward. But if nothing else, we can hold on to the eternal truths we already know, until a time that always comes when the fog clears and directions and truths become more evident so that we can better understand our surroundings and which way we should go forward.

 

 

Weighed in the balances

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It can be a frightening thing to be weighed in the balances. We are faced with a sudden accounting of our lives and decision, at times in our lives. That’s what is happening to the Christian leadership of Texas right now.

The fearsome polar vortex that engulfed Texas a few days ago pushed the state’s power grid here far beyond what it was able to bear. Temperatures plunged to almost unprecedented lows across the state and snow remained on the ground in central Texas longer than it ever has before. Eight million people in Texas lost their electricity, many of them for days. Electricity was off across Austin for around 2 days. Water was off for there around 4 days.

The responsibility for this is all the full domain of Christian Texas leadership. So although it is primarily a political matter, it also pertains to the character and nature of our Texas leadership as they have always maintained their Christian identity and stature. And there’s the dilemma. In the political realm, you basically never admit your mistakes. You come back hard and throw the guilt on your political enemies. That’s always the way of the world.

But if you are a Christian, Christ’s call to admit when you’re wrong, to apologize and make restitution cannot be ignored since it’s one of the most fundamental tenets of Christianity.

So the Christian leadership of the government of Texas is really under the microscope and being brought before the court of the people, if not the court of God. Sadly, one of the greatest characterizations of the people of Texas is (supposedly at least) their pride. Pride is extolled as a virtue here and an absolute. But any Christian who has studied their Bible knows that there is not a single verse in the Bible, cover to cover, that exalts pride in any way.

From all we can see, the state government of Texas was utterly unprepared for the crisis that hit it last week and that is still going on in many ways. But there is so much misinformation flooding cyberspace at this time to promote right or left wing agendas that it becomes all the more difficult to ascertain any element of objective truth and facts in these times.

And millions of people locally are still coming out of the experience and seeing what they have to do to repair their broken water pipes and find a way to pay for their skyrocketing electric bills. All of which comes back to the leadership of the state of Texas at this time and their policies concerning utilities that have been implemented here over the last 10 or 20 years.

This isn’t fake news. This is not a partisan take on what happened. I’m not a politician or a journalist, representing either right wing or left wing views. But I am interested, as a Christian and a citizen of Texas, as to how our leadership, all devout Christians, respond at this time. From all I know, the Christian thing to do is to admit their mistakes, to apologize to the State for the impact their policies have had on this disaster, and to try to make restitution.

But it may not at all be that easy. The challenge will be the massive ideological struggle that will go on in the hearts and minds of our Texas Christian leadership. Because the political ideology that they have followed is what has set up the infrastructure here in such a way that profit has been the primary driving impetus, rather than to serve the people of Texas. And to go against that principle of profit will be almost impossible, regardless of what their Christian convictions and soul may be telling them.

It’s a crisis time in Texas in more ways than one. They even have a modern, somewhat mocking phrase for times like this. They actually call it a “come to Jesus moment”. Not that they really do that at all. But the idea is that it’s a real moment of accountability, of exposure where reality is being exposed and you, the major leaders of a state, nation or multinational business, are exposed and have to give a clear and visible accounting of yourself. Perhaps a poignant point Jesus made was when He summed up things in the simple words, “You cannot serve God and Mammon.” (Matthew 6:24)

It all very much bears watching. Expect a lot of smoke and mirrors. Expect there be a change of the subject, red herrings being thrown in every direction and a mighty shifting of the blame onto all the usual suspects that the right/left paradigm always throws up at us. Sadly, so many in American have bought into this ideological conflict that we’ve evidently come to where truth, raw and real truth in real time, doesn’t matter that much anymore to so many.

But people died here in Texas last week. Most of my friends went without electricity and water for days. So many major grocery stores for the second time in less than a year were denuded of food and necessities and panic buying went on again. As I wrote in another article (“Judgment must begin at the house of God”), in a state as Christian as this one, as led by Christians as this one is, it’s truly a time of sifting and accountability for the Godly leadership of Texas.

May the Lord help them to come down on His side, even if that means that pride is humbled and political struggle is ignored in order to measure up to greater truths and allegiances that we all have in the sight of the dear Lord God.

Insufficient in prayer

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I was thinking tonight about how God has been really good to me. So much so that I can’t really express it or find the words. Sometimes you can’t equal with your words of thankfulness the measure of the abundant grace that the Lord has bestowed upon you. Words fail you. But the funny thing is for me, in earlier years, before I came to the Lord and salvation, I went through a time of horror and depravity. And back then words failed me to describe my experiences as they do again now, but at the opposite end of the scale

When I was university I was swept up in a near death experience that took place in the realm of darkness, the spiritual world but without Christ and God. Afterwards it was close to impossible to find words to describe that experience and those things. At the time I didn’t really have any idea what was happening to me or why.

I just knew something was exceedingly wrong and that it was my fault. I knew that word back then, “fault”, but I didn’t really know or accept the word “sin”. Then gradually, as I came through and out of it all, I found the vocabulary in the Bible that described the experiences and grapplings I’d had in the realm of darkness.

By the love of God I had been “delivered from the power of darkness and translated into the kingdom of His dear Son” (Colossians 1:13). Still, I could hardly talk about what I’d gone through. Now, decades later, I again have faced an inadequacy to put into words what is in my heart, but on the opposite side of the spectrum. He has blessed me, “above all I could ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20) so that my feeble attempts to thank Him and to appreciate His abundant blessings seem utterly inadequate to do the subject justice.

So I just have to trust the Lord. The Lord knows what He has done. The Lord knows how He has worked in my life. Hopefully He is pleased that I at least realize and know it somewhat and understand it to some degree. How can we be equal to the magnitude of God? We can’t. It reminds me of what I wrote a few years ago about “Thimbles”. I was struck with my inadequacy to respond to the vastness of God, like having a thimble on the beach to measure the ocean before me.

But I try to praise and thank the Lord for what He has done in my life. So many things have happened that I just know are the Lord, His plan and pre-vision and pro-vision. The Lord can make something out of nothing and actually that’s the way He usually works. He has to make you utterly nothing and so that you know it. And then He can begin to put you back together “a better vessel” (Jeremiah 18:1-4).

You may find yourself speechless, trying to find words to thank the Lord with when it all comes so short of describing the magnity of what He’s done in your life. Maybe that’s not where you are at right now. Maybe you are really going through trails and testings and “contradictions of sinners against yourself” (Hebrews 12:3), like what happened to Jesus. But as each of us keep holding on, the Lord can bring us into a fair haven. (Psalm 107:30)  A verse that often speaks to me is how He can “restore the years that the cankerworm has eaten.” (Joel 2:25) Seemingly years of wasted and fruitless existence when you longed to have a purpose and a meaningful life. But He can restore.

We don’t have to be eloquent when it comes to our prayers. Just honest, sincere and real. Our words are us and we are just little people trying to speak to the King of kings and Lord of lords. So we should just speak from our heart, even if it all seems to be so insufficient to express how we feel or how God has dealt with us. “Pour out your heart before Him”, as King David said. (Psalm 62:8)

“We are not sufficient for these things,” (II Corinthians 2:16). Paul knew it was all far beyond him what the Lord was doing in his life and in the lives of others. But he just kept the faith and kept following, even if it got to where it was beyond what he could ask or understand or comprehend.

The Book of Daniel Chapter 12 video, “The End and Beyond”

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I’ve been able to complete the video about the last chapter in the book of Daniel, chapter 12. There the angel highlights the main points of the future that have been revealed to Daniel and, in the last verses in the chapter, adds a surprising final revelation that takes us further beyond “the end”.

I started this series of videos on the prophecies of Daniel around 19 years ago so it’s something of a milestone for me to have finished the series. And in doing this video, I came to a much greater appreciation of this chapter and all that is there.

Even though Daniel 12 is the shortest chapter in the book, this video turned out to be over 50% longer than any of the earlier videos on Daniel, mainly because there was so much to go into, to unpack and then to explain.  Jesus Himself actually quoted from this chapter when he was answering His disciples’ questions about His second coming.

In these presently strange, dire times we’re passing through, it was a comfort and clarification for me to look again at how things will actually all turn out, according to God’s prophetic Word. I was reminded of what the true battles are that we should fight, how the disciples of the final days are suppose to conduct themselves and the genuine heavenly vision they should have. Currently there are so many distracting local skirmishes going on. So it helps to see again what the battle lines of the final endtime will be and what our roles will be then, and now as well.

I hope you enjoy the video. Below is the link to it on YouTube.

Your friend in Him,

Mark

Once more, into the breach

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One more time and you feel like it will kill you. You feel you have given your all. But the job is not done. You don’t know if you can take any more. This is what soldiers experience. Or some of those in sports. And even some Christians.

It is said of Jesus, “He poured out His soul unto death.” (Isaiah 53:12) “He went a little further and fell on His face.” (Matthew 26:39) For Jesus, He went all the way, “even the death of the cross.” (Philippians 2:8)

It’s a funny place to be in your life. You believe in what you are doing. But you’ve come to the place where it really costs you something. If you keep going further, there looks to be real loss; personal loss will be the price. Maybe there is physical pain but maybe it’s just emotional and spiritual pain, hopes, plans and possibilities. The results of decisions that you know are going to further the kingdom of God, but really cost you personally.

This is what the quote from Shakespeare is about, “once more, into the breach”. I’ve never read Shakespeare extensively but I do know that his writings are considered to be some of the greatest heights ever reached in the English language. Here’s what he wrote about “into the breach”

“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead!
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger.”

From Shakespeare’s play “Henry the Fifth”

Maybe you’ve come to a place in your life where your hopes, dreams and possibilities have come together in a unique and golden opportunity that’s before you and you recognize it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But you also see clearly that there is a price to pay. To reach your goal is going to take everything, all that you have and no one will know about it but you and God.

I’ve never been in a physical war. Never had bullets whizzing by me, never had artillery shells exploding around me. But I think this must be how it is for people in that situation, where their life is on the line from minute to minute.

I like sports for this reason. People in sports have to give their total all if they are going to succeed. Half hearted people are not successful in sports. Actually it is the same in Christianity but it doesn’t show up as easily. Christians are actually supposed to be maintaining many of the attributes of soldiers. “A good soldier of Jesus Christ” (II Timothy 2:3) And also the discipline and commitment of athletes. “Lay aside ever weight and the sins that so easily beset us and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus…”   (Hebrews 12:1 & 2)

Many people cry at the end of a movie. But have you ever cried at the opening scenes of a movie? That happened to me one time. I was just going through a very rough marriage and family breakup and I went to watch “Chariots of Fire”. The opening scene was of these athletes running on a beach and the music was so moving. So the movie had been on a minute or two and I started crying. God was speaking to me that I just had to be like those athletes and to keep going and moving on.

Sometimes, that’s how we can make it, with a broken heart. We don’t have the strength in ourselves. We can’t run the race. We can’t measure up to the task before us. We are weak, very much, in ourselves. But then we have to give ourselves over to the Lord. He has to be the one that goes further within us in our lives. It’s only our faith in Him in us that gives us the power and faith to go as far as He calls us to go.

This is the better life He has called us to. A life of purpose, of impact and effect on the world we live, a life that is lived from the heart that He has entered and changed. But sometimes, no one really knows but God. No one sees what you are paying for decisions you are making. Soldiers dying in the battle, athletes giving their utmost and then more. And yes, Christians, like Jesus did in the garden of Gethsemane when “He went a little further and fell on his face.” (Matthew 26:39)

It can be so difficult. But then it also is an incredible blessing of the Lord, to be in a place where you clearly have to decide if you will go that far, if you will die that much, if you will suffer that distance. Paul in the Bible evidently experienced this. In one place he said “I die daily”. (I Corinthians 15:31)

I truly believe that at some point in the future, Christians around the world will be in “a time of trouble such as never was since there was a nation”. (Daniel 12:1) Jesus clearly said a time like that would come. For so many, times come that test us very much, where decisions test how far we will go, often the way it is for soldiers in battle or athletes in competition. But then as the Bible says about these warriors and competitors of this world, “They do it to obtain a corruptible crown, be we an incorruptible.” (I Corinthians 9:25)

Often it can be like Shakespeare said in “Henry the Fifth”, like soldiers in the midst of mortal combat, “once more, into the breach”. May the Lord in us help us to go further than we ever could in our own strength and faith. May we press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Salvation and rewards

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Is salvation cheap? In some ways it is. In fact it is free because it is a gift of God. This upsets some folks and they just don’t think it’s fair or right. Of course it cost Jesus the ultimate price to give us the gift of salvation. But for us it’s free, it can only be received.

But some say, “Well, the devils believe in Jesus”. Someone said that to me yesterday. There’s a verse that says, “You believe in one God? You do well; the devils also believe and tremble.” (James 2:19) It doesn’t say they “believe in Jesus”, there. Certainly the demons in the spiritual world are knowledgeable that there is a God and when Jesus was on earth some of them said to Him, “We know who you are, the Son of God.” (Luke 4:34) But personally I would never say, “the devils believe in Jesus.”

A verse that was priceless to me at the very beginning of my salvation was this one. “But as many as received him, to them he gave power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” (John 1:12)

That’s exactly what happened to me. In my experience of having Jesus dawn in my life, it was “receiving” Him that brought to me a power in my innermost heart and soul that had been so completely missing before that.

Sin had had dominion over me in such a complete and overpowering way. But through some dear young teen-aged Jesus People sharing the Bible with me, I came to know of the path of salvation. So I came to Jesus.

But in my case, “believing” in Him was utterly united and linked to “receiving” Him, as that verse says. Receiving Him by actually verbally inviting Him into my heart and life, after my friends showed me John 1:12 and other verses, like Revelation 3:20, where the Lord said He would come in to us.

Some say, in fact someone said to me yesterday, that this is not enough. But it certainly was for me. It wasn’t some mental thing, a glib recitation of some lines of rhetoric. It was the cry of my heart to the throne of God. And God answered. Jesus did come into my heart. I did become “a new creature in Christ Jesus” (II Corinthians 5:17). I was “born again”. (John 3:3)

But Mark, is that all?!

Well, no, of course not; that’s not all. My life is an example of that in that I’ve gone on from that event (when I was 21) to an incredible life of joy and Christian service that’s still fresh and exhilarating many decades after my original born again experience.

But I think I know what some are concerned about.  I guess it could be called accountability. They’re concerned that someone can just almost trick God, “say the magic words” and then skate home free all the way to heaven, while living the same hellish life that most people do in this world.

No, that’s not how it works. For one, I can tell you that I’ve virtually never run into a person like that who has prayed to receive Jesus. Those who do instinctively come to God with a reverence, already knowing their desperate need and that there is a God and His Son who are there to help and answer.

My life and the life of my friends has been based primarily around witnessing and soul winning. That’s what Jesus called His disciples to 2000 years ago and what the original Jesus Movement of the early 70’s was fundamentally about. So I spent many years witnessing on the streets in places like Hollywood Boulevard, Sunset Strip, Trafalgar Square in London, Dam Square in Amsterdam and later in Vienna, Budapest, India, Indonesia and on from there, endeavoring to lead souls to Christ with the message of salvation.

It’s a spiritual thing. It’s something that the Lord does through you and with you and it’s a very serious time when you’re trying to win people to Him. The Lord gives you enough discernment to know whether the ones you are witnessing to are receiving what you are saying and are receptive or whether they are shallow and playing games. So in my experience, I don’t think I’ve run into almost any people who were just insincerely, nonchalantly reciting a prayer instead of really coming to God in prayer for His help and salvation.

But then, you ask, “What happens next?” Well, for so many I know, they really had an experience with the Lord and were astounded by the change in their lives. Like the apostle Peter wrote, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the Word that you may grow thereby.” (I Peter 2:2)

That’s what happened to me; I immediately had a huge appetite to study the Bible and to feed from it spiritually. My friends were there to help me and I just gulped down all I could, day after day and it became the new main source of knowledge and truth for me from that day on.

But I know what some are driving at. What about if someone just tries to go on their merry way, no sign of change, no different from what they were before? Of course I would question them about the depth and reality of the prayer they prayed, if that happened. But, to cut to the chase, let’s say that something like that does happen. Are they saved? Will they go to heaven? Have they sort of “pulled a fast one” on God?

This is where rewards come in. I’m convinced that there will be folks in heaven, perhaps a lot of them, with not a whole lot of rewards. They had saving faith. They believed in God, they believed that Jesus was the Son of God and in the basics of what Christ said and did. Maybe they went to church. Sometimes they prayed or even knew a little from the Bible.

But the vast and main thrust of their lives was for this world, the things of this world, the pleasures of this world, and the goals of this world. Jesus and God were in no way first place. What’s God going to do with people like that? Send them to hell? They were actually believers.

Maybe it’s like Jesus said to one group of believers in the book of Revelation, “You have a name, you live and are dead.” (Revelation 3:1) Some people, probably very many people are like this. For some the Lord in His mercy sends along chastening, bereavement, tribulation, tests and purgings to try to get them to turn to Him and away from their sins. Sometimes this works. He has to smash their idols, just as He did with the people of Israel in ancient times.

If we are truly one of His children but we are not following forward with the path and leading that He is calling us to in this life, then He will very definitely send along chastening to our straying ways. There are oodles of promises in God’s Word about that. But getting back to the original issue, still the bottom line and opening paragraph comes back to “belief”. This is repeated over and over in the Word. That’s the beginning and the requirement. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved.” (Acts 16:31)

Shedding the blood of war in peace

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Some people crack up very easily. The slightest provocation, a hint of disagreement and they just freak out. For some, they take a dive into depression. Others burst forth with a stream of accusations against the person they felt offended by. Sometimes it even goes beyond words to physically violence and death, all because of some perceived slight, something taken the wrong way that was never meant or should have never been blown up to what it was.

Yes, certainly sometimes it was more than a perceived slight. It was long term oppression and injustice and people are outraged about that. I’ll get to that in a moment.

But, about people freaking out and cracking up very easily, you might be one who says, “Happens all the time”. Yes, it does. And the damage done to friendships, families, lives, children, marriages, societies and even nations is often close to irreparable. Some of this gets personal for me. I’ve had a good life in many ways. But also I have seen this kind of destructive behavior up close and have experienced the long term devastation that is not just hurtful but damages almost beyond redemption the souls, hearts and lives it touches.

Jesus said one time, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9) In my life, I’ve seen a lot of “domestic warfare”, I guess it could be called. And from seeing this, I came to where I felt the most important thing in life was the wisdom of the heart rather than the intelligence of the mind. I’d seen a lot of smart people who ruined the lives of others without regrets because they were “so smart” but they didn’t care how much they hurt their loved ones, how much they brought disruption to their families.

I have always been in a family that believed in changing the world , that there are serious problems around us in our societies and in the world, injustices that need to be exposed and addressed, causes worth fighting for, staying stirred up about and sacrificing for.

But then, how do you do that? How do you actually address those things, whether in your personal family or in society at large? How vehement do you get? What “weapons” do you use? Are there any tactics that are not allowed? Is there any need for accuracy and truthfulness in what we say and do?  Or is it more important to just be as raw and visceral as you want to be and then let the chips fall where they may? What sacrifices are worth making in order to reach your goal?

There are so many factors in this, so many tangents that could be gone down and explored. But I’ll use an example from history where this subject and difficulty is highlighted. An ancient king, David, had a most trusted and loyal commander of his armed forces, his own cousin Joab. But ultimately, David said of Joab that he had “shed the blood of war in peace”. (I Kings 2:5) Joab murdered a rival military leader in Israel, Abner, who had been the leader of the forces of King Saul.

But it was uncalled for, unprovoked, unnecessary and unwise. The murder of Abner could have easily brought Israel into full civil war between those still loyal to Saul’s regime and the new one of King David. Joab shed the blood of war in peace. He murdered his rival and ultimately Joab was sentenced to death for his crime. He wasn’t in some battle against those bent on destroying his people; he just committed murder because of jealously and rivalry. He shed the blood of war in peace.

But many today do just what Joab did. They fly off the handle at the drop of the hat and feel utterly justified in doing it. Usually it doesn’t end up as a murder but then sometimes it does. But if they don’t commit murder, their words spoken in haste and without love or wisdom go out as firebrands and stick in the hearts of ones who are often friends or loved ones. David’s son, Solomon, said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”. (Proverbs 18:21) Words are real things, they bless or they curse, they lift up or they drag down. Jesus even said that we will give an account one day of every word we have spoken.

Again, to remember the words of an ancient king and poet, “I am for peace. But when I speak, they are for war.” (Psalms 120:6) Today I see a lot of vehement people. I even agree with a lot of what they say and the way they see things. There are things that need to be changed, things that have been tolerated for far too long. A good measure of vehemence and righteous exasperation is needed in order to keep some of these subjects on the boil until changes have been made and corners turned.

But I do fear that behind the words and in the hearts of at least some of these folks there is more than just a call for change and justice. There is hatred and vengeance. And a determination to achieve domination over ones they perceive to be utterly evil. I often feel that nothing short of full capitulation and surrender in a most complete sense by their perceived enemies will satisfy a number of these who have grievances. And again you could say, “What’s new? It’s been going on for thousands of years.”

Well, I am for peace. I am for conflict resolution. I’m for standing up to injustice. I’m also for living peaceable with all men. Sadly, I don’t think we are going to have that level of wisdom, unity and civility in this world we have now. It will only happen at the return of “the Prince of Peace“. (Isaiah 9:6) Meanwhile, I am going to do what I can to live within the peace and wisdom of God as much as I can in my interactions with others. And I hope to persuade all I can to do the same.