The pinnacle experience of my life was going to hell when I was 20. I’ve shied away from talking about it over the years because it was so unspeakable. But perhaps I shouldn’t.
Near-death experiences are rare and ones where the experience is a horrific one seem to be even more rare. But that’s what happened to me.
Many scoff at the idea of hell. I smile when I see things like that. Through that experience, I was delivered from severely entrenched atheism. Back then, I was an “evangelist” of atheism; I found joy in defeating weak, vacillating Christians in debate. But entering the spiritual world, utterly naked and without any protective covering that salvation in Christ gives, I experienced the full onslaught of the afterlife outside salvation.
I don’t know if I’ve ever really described that experience. Perhaps I should. You may not be able to relate to it, it may seem like gibberish to you. But life after death for someone without salvation in Jesus is going to be a very, extremely, strange world, as it was for me.
Without salvation in the afterlife, I was like a person without diving equipment, 150 meters (yards) below sea level. There was no oxygen. It was a strange, foreign world. There were beings there that were in their realm while I was not in mine. I was in extreme panic and in great confusion.
But worst of all, there was no way back. It was too late. The level of fear, confusion, despondency and utter hopelessness defies explanation in words we have in our present realm.
It’s an incredible thing to enter the spiritual world. One thing I saw so clearly is that it’s really “all by faith’. We say that glibly here in our realm. But in the spiritual world, faith is utterly the coinage of the realm. And I endlessly gasped for even a whiff of faith.
Everything there was inside out, compared to this present world we live in. Materially things there are completely secondary, if they register at all. Elements of the soul and heart are the substance of that realm and your spiritual condition is the only thing that matters.
Jesus talked about the man who came to the wedding feast without a wedding garment. (Matthew 22:12) That’s how I was. I didn’t have the garment of salvation, the transformation that makes life in eternity possible. So I was utterly unprepared to experience the spiritual world.
Did I understand all that then at that time, as I somewhat do now? No; really, really I didn’t. I was in a prolonged terror, experiencing things that I totally didn’t understand and didn’t even have words to describe what was happening to me. I had virtually no understanding of what I was experiencing or the words to describe it , which I came to find after becoming a believing Christian and reading the explanation of life that the Bible gives.
Time, as we experience it here, ceased to exist there. I was in eternity. But also in utter confusion, utter hopelessness, utter lack of truth. I do believe that this is within the element and range of what the unsaved experience in the hereafter, in hell.

The apostle Paul talked about, “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord…” (II Corinthians 5:11). No, Paul was not in hell in Acts 9 but he was suddenly face to face with the Lord, who told Paul, “I am Jesus who you persecute.” Paul was utterly on the wrong side of the Lord and that was his introduction.
You don’t find many preachers talking about Paul talking about “knowing the terror of the Lord.” Talking about hell in these times is very passé. It’s just not done. It’s not cool.
Be that as it may, I feel I should speak up more about how that is what I experienced. For me, it was totally what I needed to stun, shock and sear me out of my unbelief. Nobody could talk to me. I was always the smartest guy in the room, at least in my own eyes. So the Lord let this happen, in His mercy, so that I could get a real glimpse of how very far away from the truth I was.
And truth was actually what I’d been looking for all along. So God gave me this experience, outside any contact with others, not a pastor, not my grandparents, not a church, but just me alone. And it worked.
I was so stunned, shocked and almost in unbelief that I was able to return to this realm where we all now live, after experiencing so horrific a place, that it was like some kind of Sci-Fi movie where someone comes back to this earth and world, after a prolonged absence. That might sound like I’m exaggerating, but I’m not.
If this is just outside your realm of understanding, I can give you the text to two songs that rather well articulate the atmosphere of Hell. The Eagles wrote in the last words of “Hotel California”, “You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!” That’s how hell works: you can never leave.
Similarly, Bob Dylan sang in one of his songs, “There must be some kind of way outta here, said the joker to the thief, there’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.” As the song says, you look for a way out but it eludes you. Meanwhile, confusion engulfs and consumes you. Snippets and dark glimpses of hell, brought into contemporary music.
I’ve been happily encouraged through the years when I’ve read of others who’ve had near-death experiences, that they too have had very similar feelings to mine. They don’t even want to talk about it. They don’t think anyone will believe them. They struggle strongly even to find the words to describe what happened to them. It’s a very personal thing that often their friends and family can’t believe and it makes them estranged from their loved ones, since it all seems so farfetched.
I’m glad I’ve been able to put this on paper, so to speak. Experiencing hell was what it took to lay a foundational event in my life that prepared me to receive the message of salvation from young “Jesus People” a few months later. And it was this experience, that the spiritual world is fundamentally the real world, that made the decision to follow Jesus and to take up my cross in service to Him to be the only “common sense” thing that I knew was the high will of God.
This was all when I was in my early 20’s, long ago. But looking back, I see again how pivotal that experience I had in the spiritual world was, even if it was in the dark side of it. I was there, thrust there by God, because of my hardness of heart and repeated resistance to the Holy Spirit which was trying to reach out to me.
I hope this is somehow a blessing to someone. The spiritual world is real. Unbelief and atheism are your worst enemies, at least they were mine. There is no depth that God in His mercy cannot reach to find us in our worst condition and to lead us back out of that blackness, even virtual insanity, back to the glorious light that is in Him.

What does that mean? How in the world can you “look diligently..”? But the verse goes on to say that if you don’t “look diligently”, then that is when you “fail the grace of God” and a root of bitterness springs up. Therefore it must mean that the antidote and prevention of bitterness is to “look diligently”.
Some locals came around with a boat to rescue him but the man refused, saying “No thanks, I’m trusting the Lord!” Two more times that happened and then the floods rose and the man drowned.
We felt at the apex of history, a part of it and willing to do what we could to further the cause of Christ and to see truth and justice triumph over darkness and deceit.
Elijah, alone in his cave, thought that he was the only one that was left of the faithful in Isreal. But the Lord told Elijah that “
Keep praying, keep believing. God’s delays are not denials. Wait till the lights come on. Wait for the winds to pick up and for the Lord to set your sails again with the wind of His will.
All the lonely people, where do they all belong? There certainly is a time to get alone with the Lord and it’s a known fact that many of God’s saints had years where they were often alone with only the Lord as their companion and friend. But then, “
Believe me, I know so many really don’t have this. So, so many are alone, and just that experience can contribute to mental anxiety, depression, negative thoughts and premature old age, not to mention succumbing to drug or alcohol addiction and even suicidal thoughts. And so often it’s because someone is a sheep of God who is separated from the flock.
The Samaritan stopped on his way to help a man who’d been beaten by robbers. According to Jesus, several very religious priestly types had already passed by before but they’d done nothing for the beaten man. In other words, taking personal, physical action to alleviate the wrongs we are confronted with in this world is definitely what Jesus did Himself and what He taught in the gospels as well.
Maybe it’s like what Jesus said, “
Venezuela and to a greater extent Iran have very vast oil reserves and they could bring these reserves into the world oil market very quickly.
But their proven oil reserves are such that allowing them to sell on the open market again could in a few short months very strongly change the world energy picture. But nobody would dare tell you that and it’s not going to happen because great work for decades has gone on in the media around the world to picture Iran as a villainous, pariah state.
Years ago I was in my driveway watching two doves fighting it out on the ground in the front yard. Suddenly I heard and felt a “swoosh” go right by my ear. It was a hawk which had seen those two birds fighting and was doing all it could to take advantage of their distractions. The hawk swept past me incredibly fast to try to capture at least one of the birds and it was able to do that. In their distraction of fighting amongst themselves, they didn’t see the outside danger of their mutual enemy and it cost the life of one of them.
Would it be moral? Ethical? Christian and resounding with the values that have been upheld by the West for centuries? No. But in the grim world of Machiavellian realty, this present Western weakness may provide a golden opportunity for things to seem to be possible to non-Western, non-Christian world leaders that stronger governments and stronger times in the West would have been able to prevent. Obviously I’m speaking obliquely. But “they that have ears to hear”, and those who keep up with East Asian power politics, will know what I’m referring to.
If the enemy of God can get us to drop our spiritual sword and shield, then he gains victory over us. And it can be a very disarming thought that virtually all Bible prophecy was fulfilled in 70 AD, that the climactic, world- shattering prophecies of Daniel, Revelation and many others in the Bible, not to mention the words of Jesus Himself, were all drained of their significance at the time of the fall of Jerusalem in 70 AD.
It’s like that cartoon I put 
One in 7 students in some middle schools here have recorded a personal suicide plan. Teachers are leaving public schools in unprecedented numbers.
For the people of faith, the people of Jesus and His Word, these are the times that can test us to the edge. Really a lot of people are just throwing in the towel. They are committing suicide. They are seeking solace in drugs and multitudes are dying there, so many in their teens and 20’s. Or they are grabbing their rifle and going out to kill as many as they can. They are despondent and at wit’s end corner. I too have felt to some degree what I imagine millions of Americans are feeling.
Are you standing on the Word? Have you memorized and are you quoting the promises of God? Are you steadfastly resisting the darkness and drawing near to the Lord? Also, are you in some kind of fellowship with others who are strong in Him? This doesn’t necessarily have to be some formal church; that actually might not even work since so many there consciously choose to minimize the crises of our times. That’s often been my personal experience here.
But certainly there is a time and place to, for the most part, hunker down, to pray and stay in fellowship with others almost like how it is in Texas when a hurricane or tornado is going over you. Things right now may actually be just that tough.
But when I was very nearly pulled out of my body by the spirit of darkness, there was a terror and a bundle of emotions which don’t really have words to reflect them in English.
Or they are in some kind of strange place in their minds and that they will soon “return to their senses”.
Now in my 70’s, longevity in my genes, I look forward to the point somewhere ahead when I do experience what we all experience.
But the “good death” to come for me will have a few similarities but mostly be utterly different. I won’t be falling into bottomless nothingness forever. I will be leaving this physical plane, this earthly existence and going on to inherit the destiny that’s been planned and prepared for me by the Lord since the foundation of the world.
To be honest, perhaps all of us of the people of faith get hit with the idea every so often, “I guess I’m a little weird.” Ha! Do you think Moses in Egypt ever thought that? Or Noah before the Flood? I guess that’s the price we have to pay for being “strangers and pilgrims on the earth” (Hebrews 11:13).
It could be someone who shared some snippet of the truth of God with them, some Christian song they heard, some dream they had, something that awakens them out of the present darkness and draws them into the light of God’s truth and love which is what they were actually looking for all along.