Category Archives: My Past

Should Christians be passive?

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There is a time for believers to do more than fold their hands and pray. There is a time for that, certainly. But, equally, there’s a time to take action in the real world, to put feet to your prayers and deeds to your faith.

Part of the crippling weakness of so many people of faith currently is that they’ve been conditioned to believe that there’s very little they should do besides pray. Of course, prayer is vitally important, essential, necessary and even required.

But nowadays it just escapes many believers that there would be any more than prayer that God would want from us. I could cite innumerable examples from the Word of God where believers were commanded to take action in real time to do God’s will in this world.

In one situation even, some people were praying when the Lord spoke, asking them why they were praying when there was sin to be confronted. “And the Lord said, ‘Get up, why do you lie there upon your face? Israel has sinned.” (Joshua 7:10)

Probably most believers know (if they know much about the Bible) that it’s full of commandments to action, not just prayer. “Go into all the world.” “Roll away the stone.” “Teach all nations”. “Visit the fatherless and widows.” And on and on it goes.

So why doesn’t that resonate with believers today? Why is prayer all they think they can and should do? Are they lazy? Fearful? Complacent? Do they think that all the admonitions through the centuries to Godly activism are now all in the past? Do they think, “All we need to do today is be good citizens, acquire wealth and after that give a little to charity and missions” ? No, we should just pray and “Trust the Lord”. “The Lord knows”, I’m often told.What a sad delusion and compromisers’ limbo has the vast majority of modern nominal Christianity fallen into.

Most of us have heard of “The Salvation Army” and many people, Christian or not, respect the work they do with homeless people and the dregs of society in our times. But few know that in the late 1800’s Salvation Army workers were being killed on the streets of Europe, martyred for the work they were doing at that time. What were they doing? Well, for one, they were some of the most adamant and extremist folks there were when it came to fighting against the greatest plague on society of that time, the demon of drink.

One of the most famous Christian fighters of those times against drinking was Carrie Nation, a 6 foot tall woman who became famous for walking into bars in the US in the late 1800’s with a hatchet (!) which she used with vigor to do all the damage she could as frightened patrons and bartenders looked on.

Don’t laugh. Yes, alcohol in our time has been far eclipsed by a host of seemingly worse things, cocaine for decades and now the opioids crisis. But back in the 1890’s, alcohol ruined countless families and was the bane and scourge of generations, rather like it is still in parts of eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union to this day.

Did the Salvation Army offer “thoughts and prayers” back then? I’m sure they did. But the Christian activists of those times who went into bars and starting destroying the places are perhaps reminiscent of Jesus going into the temple in Jerusalem with a whip. Seems to be a pretty good example there of the Lord Himself getting active against a prevailing evil of His time when He was here on earth.

And certainly it can be mentioned with this that the Civil Rights movement in the southern USA in the 1960’s was frequently led by ordained ministers, black and white. These ones came to feel that simply praying against the racism and injustice that had prevailed for so long was just not all that the Lord wanted them to do. There is no greater example of that than Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer could be mentioned, one of the most famous modern martyrs who stood up against the Nazis in World War II and was killed by them shortly before the end of the war. Ordained minister and theologian, Bonhoeffer choose to speak and act with passion against the Nazi regime, becoming well known in the 1930’s for his opposition to the doctrines and actions of the Nazis.

If there is anything Jesus wasn’t, He wasn’t passive. And He didn’t command His disciples to be passive. But maybe it’s like Paul said in one place, “To will is present with me, but how to perform that which is good I find not.” (Romans 7:18) We do want to be led of the Lord in what we are doing, not just do a bunch of feverish good works and helping needy causes of which there are so many. “But wisdom is profitable to direct”. (Ecclesiastes 10:10)

I guess sometimes it’s like the saying, “The boat has to be in motion for the rudder to take effect.” There seems to be a paucity of Christians really willing and ready to get “in motion”, to stand up like the Salvation Army, Martin Luther King and Dietrich Bonhoeffer did, at the forefront of the moral and spiritual crises that are also now everywhere in our times.

And to bring this all back home, I personally am facing some of these things right now. I’m looking to the Lord about things going on in my part of the world, appalling, infuriating things that are beyond the political and are fully into the spiritual sphere, which need spiritual warriors to confront and expose what’s happening. Or so it seems to me. I’ll try to keep you updating as I look to the Lord about what my reaction and actions should be in the next months. God bless you and God help us all.

Godly weirdness

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If you’re going to be Godly, you may end up having to be weird. It’s just the way the world is now. It’s not really that the Godly are weird, it’s that the world is weird and contorted against the ways of God. So if you follow God, then you are going to look twisted to the majority.

I come from a weird family. What do I mean by that? It was weird when I was growing up not to use “the N word”. (Google it if you don’t know what that means.) Out of 500 kids in my school in central Texas, I was the only one that didn’t regularly use that word. Of course back then everyone in my school was white; no brown or black kids at all. This was before integration of the schools.

So I got mocked by everyone for saying “Negro”, which was the accepted non-racist word that was used back then. I was a little weird. But my folks told me how that hating people because of the color of their skin was wrong and evil, even though most of my friends who did were all Christians and went to church while my family were not Christians.

I grew up being just a little bit proud of being from a weird family. I realized that the modern majority may not hold the moral, ethical high ground; in fact they often don’t. Then in university I experienced the shocking event of nearly dying and finding out that there is a spiritual world, an eternity that we pass into, ready or not. It was the biggest shock of my life and it put me on the path to becoming a radical Christian some months later.

You could think, “OK, now he won’t be weird anymore. He’s going to be a nice, normal Christian, settle into society and be like everyone else.”

Nope, not at all. I actually found that, if you look to the Bible and history, Christianity is full of weirdoes! “Peculiar people” (I Peter 2:9), as the Bible actually says we are to be. Jesus, (was He the greatest weirdo of all?), said to His motley crew of followers, “Because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:19) What? Christians are called by Jesus to be “out of the world”?! We are not of this world?!

My experience up to that time was that the Christians I knew were usually the most worldly, conformist, bland people I ever met! But here in the Bible I’m finding other weirdoes like myself! People who went against the status quo of their day when the majority were proponents of hatred, unbelief, injustice and utter Godlessness.

I learned about some pretty weird people in the Bible and church history, people who were rejected and mocked by the majorities of their generation and who often ended up paying for their Godly weirdness with their lives. No greater example can be found than Jesus Himself. His flesh and blood brothers thought He was weird and they tried to straighten Him out. But Jesus said to them, “The world cannot hate you but Me it hates, because I testify of it that the works thereof are evil.” (John 7:7)

So I guess all my life, running in the background has been that little awareness that I’m weird. But I’ve been ok with it because I have felt that it’s more important to stand on the side of truth, justice, love and the cause of righteousness than it is to be accepted by “this present evil world”. (Galatians 1:4)

But not everyone looks at it this way and it’s a tremendous struggle for many Christians to rise above their desire to be accepted and thought well of by their surrounding worldly neighbors.

This is what happed to Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah. Here’s what Peter the Apostle said about Lot. “But that righteous man, dwelling among them [the people of Sodom], in seeing and hearing, did vex his righteous soul from day to day with their ungodly deeds.” (II Peter 2:8)

Lot and his family probably seemed weird to the people of Sodom. But it sounds like Lot, although he didn’t partake in their sins, was pretty much compromised where he was, like so very many Christians are becoming more and more in our times. Finally, in Lot’s case, the angels had to come down and just forcibly take his family out of Sodom before its utter destruction at the hand of God.

And maybe I need to add a little something for balance. We all should know that there is “good weirdness” and “bad weirdness”. Just being constantly anti-social, contrary, freaky and difficult to be around is certainly not what I am talking about here. It’s about holding truths, values and deeds that reflect the ways of God, which are so often thought of as weird when any of us dare to be different and go against the status quo.

Are you weird? Are your values at odds with the values and deeds of our present world? Are you compromised with the world because you don’t want to stand out and be different from others? Or are you like the heroes and heroines of faith in the Bible and history who were not “conformed to this world”? (Romans 12:2)

If you’re willing to buck the tide and stand up for the ways of God, you’ll be blessed in this life and the one to come. It can be lonely at times but then the Lord can bring you into contact with other weirdoes like yourself, “sheep in the midst of wolves” (Matthew 10:16), as the Lord said. It’s way better to flock together with the sheep than to run with the wolves and snakes of this world when you actually aren’t one of them.

If this be weirdness, make the most of it.

Stay weird, my friends.

 

Heart Attack Blessings?

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Two days ago I had a heart attack. Last night I got back from the hospital I was rushed to where I had a stent placed in a vein. It’s been a very  (…)  time; I don’t even know what word to use to describe it. But I’m left here realizing what an amazing and loving God we have and how I’ve just survived, utterly by the His grace, an event that kills millions every year. And, strangely, there’s an emerging element of supernatural blessing and divine purpose in what’s happened to me over the last 36 hours.

I was fixing my lunch just after finishing a rather vigorous workout that I do at home. And I began to realize I was having a strange pain in the middle of my chest, unlike any I’d ever had before. I went to look up the symptoms of a heart attack and many of them I didn’t have: pain in my left arm or jaw, excessive sweating, shortness of breath, and others. But there was definitely a discomfort in my chest that didn’t go away.

After some hesitation, I talked to a dear friend who rents me the room in the place where I stay. He was busy but I told him it was an emergency. With difficulty I told him that I thought I was having a heart attack and needed to go to an emergency room. God bless him, he immediately dropped everything and we were off in the car right away.

At the emergency room things really swung into quick action. They did an EKG and the doctor said that I’d had, or was having, a heart attack. All during this time I wasn’t really feeling super bad. They ask me what my pain was on the scale of 1 to 10 and I said about 2 or 3 but that it was more discomfort than really pain. But it certainly was discomfort.

The emergency room people immediately took me in an ambulance to one of the main cardiac hospitals in our small Texas city. I actually was in fairly good spirits and was conversant with people in the ambulance and once I got to the hospital. Admittedly the thought did cross my mind, “Well, am I going to die now? I don’t feel really bad.”

It all was moving very fast. And I knew the reason for this as I’d read in the past how it does really come down to a matter of time in these situations. During this time one super busy nurse told me “Minutes are muscle” and the goal is to try to intervene before the damaged heart muscle really gets worse or the overall problem escalates.

What they did was to insert a stint through a hole in my wrist, up into my heart. I learned later that an EKG is able to identify the quadrant of the heart where the problem is. But then they insert some kind of dye in that area and by seeing how it interacts, they can identify exactly what the place is that needs the stint.

And I learned that this is not all actually about big arteries but about the smaller veins that run along the outside of the heart and supply blood to the heart itself. One of those veins had become blocked and needed the stint.

But here’s where it gets interesting. The big arteries that carry blood in and out of the heart could be seen like very big highways. But the veins are like smaller city streets, some bigger and some smaller. The place where my vein was blocked was what could be like a somewhat smaller street. They were able to identify it and put the stint in so blood could flow again. Within less than an hour after the operation, I was beginning to feel ok again and not having those symptoms.

And here’s the eerie thing, what they told me today. While I was on the operating table, when the doctors used that dye to find where the blockage had happened, they found another “bigger street” vein that was still functioning but was 90% blocked.

My cardiologist had not been able to know that without doing the stint work that was done yesterday during the operation. So they said very definitely that I need to come in and discuss another similar operation to get a stint into the vein that is 90% blocked. But if this incident yesterday hadn’t happened, we would not have known how badly that one is blocked and that vein is larger and more strategically placed than the one that went bad yesterday. This heart attack was used by God to bring to light a more serious condition I’ve had which no one was aware of until now.

I’m still personally coming to grips with all this. In Texas you can be bitten by a rattle snake. It may not kill you but it certainly can. Or your house can be hit by a tornado. It may not kill you but it certainly can. And 36 hours ago I had a heart attack. It may not kill you but it certainly can.

But here I am, back at my desk, in my room and not really at a place yet where I’ve fully fathomed what has happened to me. And it seems like it was, so strangely, almost an act of Providence that this till-now unknown blockage of a vein on my heart could be made known, so that it can be operated on.

What kind of comment can be made to this? What an experience of underserved mercy and prescient providence to allow something like this to happen. I think of the many people who have been praying for me. I think of the open doors of ministry that the Lord has given me over the last few months and years. I think of how my life on this earth could have come to its end over the last 2 days. But God has turned it all into something good. “Oh the depth of the riches, both of the wisdom and knowledge of God. How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out.” (Romans 11:33)

 

More Stumps

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In the article before this I wrote about stumps in the garden. But, sometimes, you’re the stump. You’ve been utterly cut off, as far as you can tell. Deserted by friends or family, afflicted in health, ruined in reputation and with seemingly no real reason to even keep on living. You’ve been cut off at the ground, like a tree that’s been chopped down.

Sound familiar? Going through that now? Or know someone who is? Truth be known, I’ve been through that a few times in my life. It didn’t just seem like the end, it was the end. Yeah, I still was alive but all I held dear had come crashing down or was taken from me. I was cut off and my life was a disaster and ruined.

Thankfully, by the mercy of God, I somehow held on. I think one of the reasons is that my original first experience in coming to the Lord was so horrific and extreme that actually nothing since that time has been like that. So even though I’ve been through some real cuttings off, endings and final scenes, it wasn’t like what the Lord brought me through before I came to Him and His love and truth.

Maybe you say that I use this analogy a lot, like in posts such as “Broken branches” or “Green leaves holding on.” But God can sometimes really speak to us through the creation we see around us and He often will if we listen.

We all go through endings, in this life. Winters, fiascos, ignominy, complete failures, utter rejections and personal debacles. We are cut off, like a tree, and seemingly nothing is left. And, oh, how the devil likes to take center stage at that moment and claim us, telling us that it really is the end, that our goose is cooked and there’s no other alternative but to take our life. I won’t go into this since I wrote about it recently in “Suicide”.

But there’s another ending to the story. There is a happy ending and actually we can claim it. God is “the author and finisher of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2) and He is the God of happy endings. Our job is just to hold on. If we hold on through these Gethsemanes, followed by what seem like crucifixions, He is able to raise us up again, as He did His only Son , to heights of victory and deliverance that are truly beyond our wildest dreams.

JobI’m not just talking here, I’ve been through it. A few times. And plenty of people in the Bible did as well. Job’s wife told him, in his miserable affliction to “curse God and die!” (Job 2:9) But he didn’t. Job held on through that incredible humbling and breaking so that God was able to deliver him from his sins of self righteousness and he ended up being doubly blessed.

Twenty years ago I thought my life was over. I felt I’d been a failure as a missionary and rejected by my friends and co-workers. I went back to my “Egypt”, got a secular job and just gave up on myself. But God hadn’t given up on me. If you want an amazing story from that time, you can read my testimony of “Strange, very strange. But true”. That was one of the incredible experiences I had back then where the Lord showed me that He wasn’t through with me, even if I’d been thrown on the scrapheap by others.

It’s possible that’s where you are now. Even fruitful trees go through seasons and we all go through our “winters” when it looks like we are dead stumps. But if you hold on and keep on believing, the Lord can and will bring a spring to you, perhaps one greater than you’ve ever experienced.

Like the stumps we’ve all seen which have new branches growing out of them, that’s a message to each of us of what God can and will do in our lives. It’s a test of faith. It’s a test of “walking by faith and not by sight.” But it’s all part of the making of a man or woman of God.

Are you a stump, cut off, abandoned by your family, mocked by ones who should love you, without hope except for the Word of God and the truths of the Bible? Hold on. Hold on to the truth of God’s Word and His promises. “Having done all, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13). Like I wrote about in “The Stand”.

When I came to the Lord, a long time ago now, a verse that stood out to me so much as being a truth I experienced when I’d been in the very fires of hell at times in months before, was this. “There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above that which you are able to bear. But will with the temptation, also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (I Corinthians 10:13)

If your “will power” won’t work, try your “won’t power”. Just say to yourself and to the devil and God, “I can’t seem to go forward now. But I’m not going to go backwards.” Hold on. It’s a winter. It’s a test. It will pass. And you’ll be like that little sprig coming out of the dead stump of a life that’s now past into the light of a new day, more glorious that you’ve ever experienced. Hold on. God won’t fail to answer, bless, explain things and bring you into a new day.

Roots, seeds and weeds

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I cut that down, how is it springing back up?! Well, the roots are still there, alive below the surface although I cut it to the ground. Hmm. The Lord spoke to me this morning through this. Some things in our lives keep springing back up, even though we cut them down. The roots are still there.

Personally, I have sins and weaknesses in my life that I still have to fight daily that have been there for decades. “Why don’t you just root them out?” you may ask.

My experience is that there are different kinds of things like this, just like there are different kinds of plants and weeds in the yard behind the house here. Some things can be gotten rid of easily. Maybe they’re just weeds that don’t have deep roots. Others are like big trees that were cut down years ago. But the roots are deep and they still try to send forth branches every so often.

I suppose if I really took the time and the gardening equipment, I’d be able to root out some of these things that keep popping up from time to time. But there is another way which I’ve found that works against “the sins that so easily beset us” (Hebrews 12:1), although it may take more time. It goes like this. “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

If you keep up your resistance, the enemy just has to flee, whatever form or shape he comes in. If I keep chopping the sprigs off these stumps that keep returning in the back yard, sooner or later the roots die out from lack of the nourishment they need from leaves. Same with sins. For the most part, I’m not fighting the same sins I did in my 20’s. I either rooted them out by the grace of God or I kept saying no to the devil, every time I was tempted by him. And in time it just stopped happening, the same as the roots in the ground which finally die when you keep chopping off the sprigs.

Keep-your-heartThen other things are just like weeds. The seeds fly through the air and end up sprouting in the back yard. If you don’t make an effort to chop them down, soon your whole yard will be utterly filled with thorny weeds and choking thistles. Just like our hearts and lives. That’s why one of my favorite Bible verses is “Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) I wrote a seperate blog article on that verse. You have to keep working on that garden, whether it’s the one in the back yard or the garden of your heart.

But not all roots are bad. Jesus is even called “the root and offspring of David” (Rev. 22:16). In that most significant prophetic chapter, Isaiah 53, speaking of Jesus to come, it says, “For he [Jesus] shall grow up before him [God] as a tender plant and as a root out of a dry ground.” (Isaiah 53:2) What a picture of the Lord, springing up out of the dry ground of His generation in Israel to ultimately be a tree of Life for all nations.

And what about us? We are to be “rooted and built up in Him and stablished in the faith” (Colossians 2:7). I’m so thankful that when I received the Lord, those who led me to Christ didn’t just cast seed into the ground and walk off. They nourished and cherished it, giving me daily Bible classes to really get me rooted in the Word, on the right track to a life of Christian service.

But, oh, how that “old man” (Ephesians 4:22) still likes to spring up in the garden of my heart if I let it. temptations-and-doubtsIt’s like the analogy about birds which says, “You can’t keep the birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from nesting in your hair.” Same with the weeds and sprouting from stumps you’ve cut down. You just have to keep going after them.

Some people think that once they are saved, it’ll just be clear sailing the rest of their lives. Well, you are saved and you do have that eternal power of Christ in you that you didn’t have before. But, believe me, you’ll still have self and sin and the devil to fight every day, especially if you’ve decided to take up your cross and follow the Lord. You are going to have to keep the garden of your heart, never let the evil start. It will; but you have to keep a watch and just cut it off as soon as it shows up, like the weeds and sprouting stumps.

Christians doing their homework

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A lot of Christians haven’t done their homework. And, sadly, that often results in their being made fools of in public discussions. If anyone should have and treasure the truth, it should be Christians. And facts and truth run hand in hand. If you think you are going to make it by just your emotions, how much you love Jesus and therefore are so vehemently right, I’m afraid you may often end up being made a fool of. And that shouldn’t happen.

My early years of being a Christian were often spent on the street, personally witnessing to people in places like Hollywood Boulevard in California or later Trafalgar Square in London and Dam Square in Amsterdam. And I can tell you, it took more than just loving the Lord to be able to do that. I had to do my homework. I had to know what the facts were or I’d be made a fool of by people who would ask me tricky questions that I didn’t know how to answer. Or sometimes sincere questions by “lost sheep” and I didn’t know what the answer was. It was similar to combat or working in an emergency room and I had to learn what to say and what to do or I’d really be failing the Lord, others and even endanger my faith.

But it seems nowadays that if we Christians just have a snappy rejoinder or popular comeback, we think that’s all we need. It’s not. And the enemy of God can again and again make us look like ignoramuses when that really isn’t necessary. I personally don’t feel like I need to retreat into my warm, fuzzy Christian shell and let the atheists take the day and the high ground. But if we don’t do our homework and even be willing to break out of some of our pet doctrines that some Christian leaders expect us to hold, then I think we can really see a continuing defeat for Christian truth in the realm of public discourse. Because so many think that babbling zingers back at people is what God wants us to do, rather than really speaking the truth in Christ.

We’re supposed to “be always ready to give an answer to them that ask of us” (I Peter 3:15). Sometimes those answers can be simple since often God’s truth is simple. But also there are times to “know your stuff” and not be browbeaten and made to look like fools so that we default to simplistic, cream-puff answers. It’s like the Lord said for us to be, “Wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) Jesus Himself and also the early Christians in the book of Acts were relevant and had the high ground in the battles of dialogue they had in their day. They said of Jesus, “no man ever spoke like this man” (John 7:46). And later it was said of Stephen, “They were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spoke.” (Acts 6:10)

Today someone sent me from Scandinavia a very timely and troubling news article about more and more people having a biometric chip implanted under their skin on their hand. Of course for most Christians, this immediately brings to mind the verses in Revelation 13, having to do with the final days before the return of Jesus, how that “no man might buy or sell save he that had the mark or the number of the beast in his hand or forehead.” (Revelation 13:16)

I found it very interesting that this procedure in Scandinavia is continuing to gain ground where it’s been going on a few years. It’s another sign that things are getting closer and closer to the final days spoken of in the Bible. But then also I felt a sense of sadness. Because I just almost expect that a lot of Christians will immediate pipe up and say that what those folks in Scandinavia and other places in Europe are doing is the literal fulfillment of Revelation 13 and that those individuals who have done this already are now doomed by the Word of God itself to the Lake of Fire.

It’s like watching a chess match or a sport event and you see someone making a move and you just know they are going to suffer for it and be made fools of. Because, as far as I know,

what those people are doing in having that chip implanted in their hand at this time is not specifically, utterly and completely a fulfillment of what is spoken of in Revelation 13.

Is it a major step along the way? Certainly. Is that technology most likely to be what is used for the final Mark of the Beast in the final world government of the endtime? Almost certainly. But the Lord is not going to send people to hell because of some economic step they’ve taken to link them to the commercial system. The Mark of the Beast is certainly going to be that but also much more. Exactly what, we don’t know at this time.

But if Christians now go crazy and start getting irrational about these chip implants that are going on, this is playing exactly into the hand of the enemies of God. They can effortlessly make us look like religious kooks and extremist and the undecided people will be wondering about it since it looks rather innocuous at this time to them.

So, folks, do your homework. This reminds me of another article I wrote a few years back called “Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eyes”. Or the video I did called “Famous Failures of Prophetic Interpretation.” Don’t go off half cocked. Try a little of that “wise as serpents” thing the Lord spoke of. He also said “The children of this world are wiser in their generation than the children of light”. (Luke 16:8)

Maybe we ought to remember that in the endtime, “the people who do know thier God shall be strong and do exploits. And they that understand among the people shall instruct many”. (Daniel 11:32 & 33) But we will be made fools of, as has happened many times, when we just run our mouths in emotions without really getting the mind of the Lord and the wisdom of the Lord so as to know what we really ought to be saying in these situations. “If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God…” (James 1:5) “Wisdom is the principle thing”. (Proverbs 4:7

The problem with addictions

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Folks, I was an addict. Yes, it was decades ago but it very nearly killed me and sent me to the indescribable torments of hell. I’ve written about this in places but I’m coming up to the anniversary of my very nearly dying and being carried by Satan out of my body and into the nether worlds. It was probably the most intense, searing, indescribable event I’ve ever experienced and I remember it extremely well.

But it came through addiction. In this case, it wasn’t a physical addiction like alcohol or some opiad-based addictions can be. It was psychedelics, and it was a psychological addiction rather than a physical one. This was long ago and I’ve had a wonderful, sustained deliverance from those things. As Jesus said to one man, “Go and sin no more lest a worse thing come unto thee.” (John 5:14)

In my case “Godly sorrow worked repentance to salvation, not to be repented of…” (II Corinthians 7:10). I learned my lesson and never wanted to have that session repeated again. And probably it never would have been because I’m sure that was my very last chance as I hung by less than a thread over the indescribable consuming fires of eternal hell.

I get a kick out of the folks who say there is no hell. I usually don’t reply to those things but I just say in my heart, “Buddy, I’ve been there, I’ve experience it in eternity and I can tell you, the words we use don’t really do the subject justice of just how bad it is.”

But for me, it came through addiction. And sadly, as my adult life has gone on, I’ve lost several good friends through addiction, dear and close friends, even missionaries who “bore the burden and the heat of the day” (Matthew 20:12) and yet their lives were ended, most of the time through alcohol. I can think of three good friends, I mean good friends, close friends who at one time had been missionaries on the foreign mission field with me who ended up dying through the curse of alcohol.

How can that happen? How can addiction so claim and destroy a life like that? A Godly life, a saved life, a Christian life? Well, addiction can somehow bring a false peace, a false contentment and a calmness that is nice at times but it just isn’t really the real thing. Maybe you’ve had a glass of wine sometimes. Then maybe on rare occasion you’ve had two? You know that feeling? Feeling kind of relaxed? Not thinking about those things you were before? Not worried anymore? In a good place? Want to keep getting back to that place?

This is really personal for me. Those dear friends spring to mind, and I know there are more, who ended up taking their own lives or dying of alcohol poisoning. In my personal case, this was long ago and I wasn’t saved. But somehow the drugs took me into levels of consciousness that I’d never known. But Jesus said, “He that enters not by the door, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber.” (John 10:1)

That’s what I was doing, “climbing up some other way.” Trying to gain insight and spirituality through drugs, rather than by “The door”. Jesus said of Himself, “I am the door, by Me if any man enter in he shall be saved, and shall go in and out and find pasture.” (John 10:9) But drugs and alcohol are “climbing up some other way.”

I don’t care how much insight and clarity you think the drugs give you, how much they boost your confidence, or how much the alcohol chills you out and makes you mellow and easier to be around, there’s a real and strongly present danger in it. When it comes to drugs, psychedelics, or opium-based drugs, friends… it’s just too much and I’m thankful I haven’t touched that stuff since I was 20 years old.

Just don’t do it. Don’t try it. Don’t experiment with it. No, you are not strong enough. No, just once will indeed hurt. Take it from me. It’s only by the absolute miracle working power of God that I was delivered from those things, utterly miraculous. But for every one like me, there are hundreds and even thousands whose lives were forever ruined by drug addiction.

Alcohol? It’s not exactly the same thing. I drink wine from time to time. Psalm 104 says “And wine that makes glad the heart of man…” As most know, even Jesus made wine (John 2). But like I said, I can immediately name close, dear friends whose lives were destroyed by alcohol and they ultimately died from it.

We just have to be aware of how bad things can get, how strong sin is in the lives of even those who have committed their lives to Him. It is falsehood. It’s a false peace, a false revelation, as the fruits of sin always are. The Bible talks about “the pleasures of sin for a season.” (Hebrews 11:25) Addiction is one of the worst killers there is and it’s as rampant as ever.

Turn to the Lord with all your heart; pour out your heart before the Lord in vehement prayer for strength to fight addiction. Also, Solomon said, “He that walks with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” (Proverbs 13:20) After I nearly died on drugs but was saved at the last moment, I knew immediately and instinctively that I needed to get away from my old friends that I’d done drugs with, even though I grew up with them, and to find some new and Godly friends. In my case the Lord did just that as I went out to search for Him. I was led to some truly Godly young Christians and my life began anew from there.

I hope this is some help to someone. Addiction, drug addiction or old fashion alcoholism, is as rampant and consuming as it has ever been. And as trite as it may sound, the only solution I found was to come to the Lord and to the power and name of Jesus.

Suicide

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To me, suicide is a terrible, horrible thing. I’ve had times in my life where that thought came to me but there were just too many reasons not to do it. But it does seem to claim many lives in our times. Despair and hopelessness come upon us in mighty waves and to end our life seems to be the only way out. But what stopped me was to consider the effect it would have on others, particularly my children.

The Bible says, “None of us lives to himself and no man dies to himself.” (Romans 14:7) We all have influence. We are all in one way or the other tied to each other. “If one member suffers, the whole body suffers.” (I Corinthians 12:26) I’ve known people who’ve committed suicide. Some of them were good friends, others were people I knew or heard about. I have friends who had a parent who committed suicide when they were a kid. They didn’t talk about it much but I could tell it had a deep and severe effect on them.

Suicidal thoughts make you feel utterly separated from everyone else. In my view, it’s similar to those who commit murder, only in this case the person you kill is yourself, rather than someone else. But it comes back to utter hopelessness, utter despair and an outlook that life has turned out so bad that there’s no reason left to live at all. But like I said, when I got to that point a few times, it was thinking about my children and the legacy it would leave them that turned me away from doing it.

Also, for those of us who believe in God and in Jesus, we just know better about the realities of life than to be taken over by such horrendously hopeless thoughts. If you know God and if you know His Word, you just know that however bad things look right now, it’s not really the end. No matter how much you blew it, no matter how much people mistreat you or abuse you or hate you, there’s Someone much greater than our present circumstances, no matter how bad they are.

The psalms of David, which are mostly prayers, are some of the most comforting and strengthening passages in the Bible. David certainly knew the utter depths of despair, hopelessness and even dread. He was very human, he said things he shouldn’t have said and did things that he shouldn’t have done. But still through it all the Lord never gave up on David and ended up mightily blessing his life. David said this one time,

My sore ran in the night and did not stop; my soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God and was troubled; I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed. You, God, keep my eyes awake. I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times. I called to remembrance my song in the night. I commune with my own heart and my spirit made diligent search.  Will the Lord cast off forever? Will he be favorable no more? Is His mercy completely gone forever? Do His promises fail for evermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? And I said, “This is my infirmity. But I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the Lord, surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will meditate also of all Your work and talk of Your doings.” (Psalm 77:2-12)

King David knew the depths of despair and hopelessness. But what did he do in this prayer? He turned. He turned from a stream of hopelessness and began to say, “But I will remember…”, he actually says that three times in a row. David started to get his mind and train of thought on the faithfulness of God and God’s plan for his life, rather than the incredibly difficult circumstances he was in.

Let me change this around for a moment. I want to talk to you, from me to you. Are you being spoken to by thoughts of suicide? Maybe off and on for a long time? My friend, fight it. Or if you think you’re too weak to fight it, call out to God to deliver you. It’s not too big for Him.

If someone evil broke into your house and tried to carry off your children or even your dog, you’d fight them. Well, it’s worse than that. Someone has broken into the house of your mind and is trying to carry you off to your death.

And maybe you don’t even love yourself anymore but I venture to say others do. Others will miss you terribly. Others will be soul-struck that you are no longer here, that you are no longer part of their lives.

And even if you think you don’t have any friends or family, God Himself has got better ideas and plans for you than that you take your life. Why not give your life to help others? God specializes in using weak things, little things, nothings that He can make something out of. God usually has to make absolutely nothing out of someone before He can use them. Maybe that’s where you are now.

But the devil comes along (and, yes, that’s who it is, the devil) and tries to tell you that it’s too late, you’re washed up and there’s nothing left to do but kill yourself. Jesus said of the devil that he was a murderer from the beginning and he’s trying to get you to commit murder, your own.

DON’T DO IT. Get help. Are you on some medication? A lot of those have side effects that bring on suicidal thoughts. You might need to check that out. Pour out your heart to God. Read the Bible, maybe the Psalms of David and let God’s Word speak to your heart. Fill your mind and heart with positive, encouraging, faith-building thoughts from the Word of God.

If your willpower doesn’t seem to work, try your “won’t power”. If you can’t find a way forward, at least you don’t have to start going backwards. Just slam on the breaks and sit tight in prayer and reading the Word until the storm passes. It will. It did for me. I’ve been through this and I’m mighty glad I didn’t take my life in times of some of my darkest despair.

You are valuable to others and to God. You are loved and needed and you mater. Hold on. It can and will get better and you can go on to the light of a brighter day that will make the present darkness be something you eventually no longer remember. Hold on. You are loved and needed.

Intimacy in Cyberspace ?

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Intimacy. Let’s admit it: we all want that. Physically, yes; but even as much or more that union of heart with heart with another kindred soul. Jesus prayed to His Father, “That they all may be one, as You, Father are in me and I in you.” (John 17:21) Some have it in their families, mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, the special feeling you have with your grandparents.

Intimacy is one of the most desired, sought and even most needed things we have in our lives. And now in our times we have the internet and cyberspace which has made it possible to be in contact basically with nearly anyone anywhere in the world. It’s certainly been a huge thing in my life to where much of my time is based around the material I post on line and communications I have all over the world with people I work with or with ones who’ve viewed or read my material

But am I enjoying intimacy in these settings? Is cyberspace satisfying the deepest desires of my soul and heart? In one sense I can definitely say no. On the other hand, equally I also have to say that some of my interactions with this vast assembly of friends and acquaintances have definitely been very satisfying and encouraging.

Maybe it comes down to what it takes to really satisfy each individual. Some know what real intimacy is like. It can be pinnacle experiences you’ve had in your relationship with God and Christ. It can be those incredible moments of bonding and unity with your mate, where you know you are truly loving that person and are being loved. Even times with your best friend, sharing your heart, being listened to and understood, even that can be a form of intimacy. And of course the interactions we have with our families, when things are going really well, is also a degree of intimacy that can sometimes be sustained over many years.

So how does cyberspace work as being an avenue of intimacy? While it’s been truly fantastic for me personally in being able to reach out across continents to where I’m getting to know folks in places like Rwanda, Dagestan, Nagaland and even remote towns where there are no roads to those places, it still doesn’t beat the real thing.

Real time. Face time. Human to human, right-in-front-of-you where you can see their face, hold their hand, hear their voice. That still is the benchmark of intimacy. We’re not cyborgs. We’re flesh and blood human beings who know the true and full reality when we see it. Cyberspace has been an incredible blessing. But for me it’s not been able to replace the need for traditional reality that humanity has known for millennia.

So, like for probably millions of people, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” In the Lord I certainly have. “You are complete in Him.” (Colossians 2:10) But it’s also true that, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) Even when Adam had God with him in the Garden in a closeness most of us can’t even imagine, God still knew that Adam needed someone like himself beside him. And it’s still the same today.

While I’m thankful for the mass of friends and acquaintances I’ve come to have through the internet, I have to be honest and say that this other aspect of my life, real-time, face-time traditional reality intimacy with others is still pretty lacking in some respects and I feel it a lot.

I can imagine that very many people have turned to cyberspace to try to satisfy the aching void so many feel of the need for real closeness, even true intimacy. I don’t know if you could compare it to those who turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve their heartache but maybe there’s a comparison. But on the internet, you’re mostly interacting with someone real, an actual individual at the other end of a Facebook chat or your email message. So it’s not like alcohol really in that sense. But it can only go so far.

Does intimacy imply ecstasy? No. Solomon said, “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so does the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty council.” (Proverbs 27:9) It’s like what I wrote about in “Jonathan, son of Saul”. Evidently King David and Saul’s son Jonathan had a very deep and strong friendship. But there never was any hint of anything physical about it.

Every person needs real, deep intimacy. That’s what we have with God through Jesus. “There is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.” (I Timothy 2:5) We are restored, we are reconciled to God in Christ. And those things can bring joys and emotions that words sometimes can’t really reach.

And yet…, and yet we who are still here in this world most of the time still need others. We also need human love. Unity, contact, oneness. It says in the Bible, “Now we know in part, but then shall we know, even as we are known.” (I Corinthians 13:12)

It sounds like, in heaven, intimacy will be the coinage of the realm, intimacy with Christ and God but also with an incredible oneness with each other. But here…? Well, thank God for the internet and the good that has come of it. Still, for me at least I yet yearn and long for intimacy in this world and I know that is not really going to come through cyberspace.

It’s going to have to happen in real time, traditional reality. “The greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13) God help us to continue in Him and His love. And, if it be His will, love with another human being, even real time intimacy.

Have you ever been “ghosted”?

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Have you ever been “ghosted”? I hope not. And I hope you haven’t “ghosted” anyone either. Jesus said of the time before His return that, “The love of many shall grow cold”. (Matthew 24:12) So it’s almost a sign of the times that, in human relationships, “ghosting” has become the new vogue. Here’s a current definition of what “ghosting”:

Ghosting is breaking off a relationship (often an intimate relationship) by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.

Does that ring a bell? Maybe your best friend suggested, laughingly, that you just “ghost” your current boyfriend or girlfriend because you were going through a rough patch. Life is tough enough, times are tough enough and the outlook for many is bleak enough that this is just another punch in the ribs to our humanity, our standard of behavior and our love for our friends. This is now the cool thing, “Just ghost ‘em.”

I’ve written before about hardening your heart and keeping your heart. This maybe is another aspect of it all, that, (God help us!) we don’t have to revert to the satanic cruelty of this modern form of breaking up so that the person you once loved or were at least close to you now treat with a cruelty you wouldn’t show to a stranger.

Love is under attack at every turn. Decency, altruism and truth itself are rained down upon with new methods of debaucher and disdain so that we’re persuaded that the loftier things we once held dear just are no longer a part of our makeup. We don’t need the Russians, ISIS, immigrant caravans or anything else to attack us from outside. It’s the inside attacks, the insidious “gas seeping under the door” that actually slays far more than those we think are our enemies.

How many die today, they commit suicide because someone they loved “ghosted” them? Sometimes those we love the most can become our greatest enemies. Jesus said so. But it shouldn’t be. It. Should. Not. Be.

The Bible says “Owe no man anything but to love him for he that loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8) You’re not getting along, don’t have those feelings anymore, want to drop ‘em and move on to someone else? Well, even if you do that, you can still be kind. And you should be.

Do you want to have that person’s suicide haunt you the rest of your life? Or want to have that cruel thing you said and did eat away at your conscious the rest of your life? I have things I said when I was 12 years old to a friend of mine who was not as cool as the others and I, going along with the crowd, said some cruel thing to him. He looked me right in the eyes, with tears, and said, “You too, Mark?” He knew that I knew better. He expected me to not be like the other cruel kids in our class. It’s a horrible feeling to know I did that and I regret it to this day.

But how about just “ghosting” your girlfriend or boyfriend? Or your fiancé or even husband or wife? Aren’t we better than that? Even if you’re not a believer, doesn’t love itself call upon us to be kinder to our fellow human being?

I went through a horrific divorce many years ago, one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. Somehow, through it all, my former wife and I were able to maintain some semblance of communication and measure of respect for the 10 years we spent together and for our 4 children. I tried to never speak against my former wife to my kids. I tried to find slivers and strands of what was left of the relationship and to hold on to those until things could very gradually get better. I’d seen as I grew up, that 30 years before my birth a huge divorce and animosity had had such devastating effects on my relatives that for generations afterwards wounds never healed, over lifetimes.

Don’t be cruel to the ones you love or even to the ones that love you. “Charity suffers long and is kind.” (I Corinthians 13:4) “Love works no ill to his neighbor.” (Romans 13:10) I believe it is just absolutely satanic to turn into the cruelest hatred what was once a love you had for someone. Maybe love has grown cold. Maybe “you’ve lost that loving feeling”. Maybe “you’ve seen them for what they are.” But we still owe everyone love to the degree that we can try to make it easy for the one we are breaking up with.

Hardness of heart can be a form of insanity, one of the worst. It can drive the ones we love to despair and death itself. Don’t do it, any more than you’d do drugs or shoot someone with a gun.

If you are going to break up with someone, try to be kind. Try to not cut them off and stop communicating with them. You’ll be a better person for it, you’ll help the other person to survive the loss of the love that was there and God Himself will bless you for your doing the loving thing.